Ok, you know those dreams you have when you walk into your high school and EVERYONE is staring at you? You can’t quite figure out why, but all eyes are on you….piercing through to your inner core. You can feel your face get hot and you start to sweat. You finally look down and realize you went to school with no clothes on. My name is Tracey, and THIS is my life………well at least in my head it is. I am heavy….I’ve struggled my whole life with my weight and an awful body image. This is the way I feel when I walk into a room. That everyone’s eyes are on me….judging me…silently shaking their heads at me and the weight that has accumulated over my body. Now, maybe NO ONE is even thinking anything like this…but when you are overweight this (at least in my own head) is how you believe people are looking at you. Growing up, til about middle school I was never really “fat” per say but had some chunk and always felt self concious even then. When I got to high school it got so much worse…I wasn’t even overweight but my mindset told me I was, and I began not eating or throwing up what I DID eat so I wouldn’t gain weight. In high school I thought I was fat…………my sophomore year I weighed 115 lbs. No one that weighs 115 lbs is fat unless you are a toddler on Maury, but in my own head I was, because my whole life this is how I felt…so I found myself trying to keep up with the skinny, beautiful girls all around me and I didn’t care how I did it. I never felt like I was enough. Of course, looking back at pictures then I want to smack my 17 year old self and say “are you serious girl? you look phenomenal!!!! Now shut up and eat a burger!”
I got into a 3 1/2 year long relationship with a guy from the end of my Senior year of highschool to my Junior year of college. I got comfortable, I gained the freshman 15 in college plus about another 10….after that it seemed the weight just kept coming on. What made it ok at the time is he never really seemed to care what I looked like. He liked me for me… I don’t think I’ve ever known that feeling myself…to just be at peace with myself. It’s always been a constant inner battle of putting myself down, judging myself, ripping myself apart. Enough is enough….I’m tired of the yo-yo diets…tired of downing the diet pills that make your heart race and feel nauseous….tired of skipping meals or getting rid of whole food groups to try to lose the weight. Each and every time I’ve lost weight, even when it was a substantial amount, it always came back with a vengence and brought about 15 – 20 lbs of it’s friends back with it. Well I’m done! Done with not liking Tracey, done done done!
So here’s the part of the blog where you’re all like…………….well what are ya gonna do differently this time to change it? Here’s my answer………..Isagenix. I truly believe this is a gift from above… …or at least from some really smart people who formulated it. Either way I don’t care where it came from but I know it works and I know WHY it works. this isn’t a line…or a ploy to sell the product (however the stuff sells itself!) My very best friend Jacqui, who has suffered from chronic back pain from nerve damage for 6 years, started using this product. It is life changing. I saw a beautiful woman go from laying in bed w/ heating pads, medication, therapy tools, you name it she tried it….nothing helped. She started using this product…….within a day she started to feel different. A few weeks into it my very best friend is no longer suffering. She’s living again….. she is the girl I knew years ago…always smiling, always there for you….always a ray of sunshine. I haven’t seen that glow in years from her. I see it now. This product wasn’t just made for weight loss. Actually I think initially that wasn’t even it’s goal but that’s part of what happens to the people who are overweight….. She didn’t need to lose weight…if anything the skinny bitch could gain some ( I love you Jacqui! and you are the furthest thing from a bitch) But anyone who looks good to me gets tagged “skinny bitch” because I want to LOOK like them! (it’s a term of endearment really…..) Anyway…she was talking to me about Isagenix and how it is a body cleanse….it cleanses your body out on a cellular level…..not a gut “I gotta take a poop really bad” cleanse……it gets rid of all that shit we’ve eaten over time…puts your body back where it’s meant to be…..full of nutrition and none of the crap we have filled it with for so long. I suffer from severe indigestion and have been on nexium every day…….3 days into Isagenix……..GONE!…. I suffer from GOD AWFUL irritable bowel syndrome…..3 days into Isagenix ……….GONE! I used to drink 4-5 cups of coffee a day……haven’t had one drop of caffeine since I started this journey. Your body craves and needs these nutrients……….now that I’m giving it what it needs and not what it doesn’t, I’ve already dropped 6.5 lbs in 3 days………….this is without even getting on the treadmill (which I definitely plan on adding into the mix but I wanted to see if Jacqui was right when she told me people were dropping weight without doing any excercise) This is NOT a diet..it’s a change in the way you live……..all for the better….better body, better clearer mind, better skin, better hair…. A BETTER YOU! Who doesn’t want that??
Anyway…welcome to my page…. I want to finally be that person who inspires someone else to get up off that couch and do something about their weight. I did finally get on the treadmill for first time today since starting the plan and easily walked fast for an hour with all the energy in the world. I cannot say enough about this product. However this blog just isn’t about the product…………it’s about me finding that girl that’s trapped inside of me. You know, the one who wants to come out and give the bigger version of me a huge hug and say “ya know what? YOU GOT THIS!!!!” So any inspirational thoughts or messages you want to throw my way will be greatly appreciated. I am not setting up huge goals for myself like I have in the past, as I always failed when I put a number up there…… my goal is to be able to run around with my 4 year old son without getting out of breath, or walking up a flight or two of stairs without my knees hurting. I want to live….I want to love myself. I want to walk into a room and finally feel like people just might be looking at me for my smile not my weight…… I don’t want to get to the point where my next doctor’s appointment they say to me “you’ve got diabetes or you are on the verge of heart issues” etc……..I don’t want that for me, I don’t want that for my family. High blood pressure runs in my family…altho I’ve made it this far with really no issue, that can come on at any time. I have been setting myself up for failure in the past. I’m setting myself up now for a future of health and happiness….and it’s about damn time!!!!!
I invite you to follow me along on my journey. I promise to make it inspiring and funny all at the same time. I’m good like that!
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