A Picture's Worth a Thousand Pounds

         You know those pictures you take with your friends where you all stand there in a group and someone passes around the cameras or phones to get the best shot? Yea well, in those shot’s, as well as any shots of me really here’s my dialogue before the flash has a chance to pop……….”make sure it’s from the chest up!” -This has been my "photo MO" for as long as I can remember. Anything below that is off limits when people take pictures of me………if I see you took a picture of me and posted it somewhere and it’s a full body shot you either take it down or I un-friend you. Okay I’m not THAT big of a bitch…but seriously there will be severe negotiations of our friendship, if that picture remains up for people to see. I hate my body…..and I mean HATE it. I’m always trying to hide parts of it away from the rest of the world…and myself..sometimes I’ll spend weeks wearing nothing but my husband’s baggy T-shirts and a pair of my sweats because there’s nothing attractive about how I look. (This is another reason I love my work from home job so much.)
        From the neck up I don’t think I’m so bad. I’ve been complimented on my smile and my eyes many of times and even been told it can light up a room when I walk in……… You never hear that about a fat ASS, right? You sure don’t! I’m always the one in pictures who puts my son in front of me on my lap so you can’t see the rolls on my stomach….or leans over someone’s shoulder because I only want people to see what’s above the shoulders. I will shop for clothes as LITTLE as possible because going into a dressing room and having to look at myself not just one time, but THREE times all at once in those god awful mirrors and that terrible lighting???? NO THANK YOU! Three way mirrors are the devil! Most times when I DO go shopping I end up grabbing something off the rack, just buying a size I think may fit and not even bothering to try it on…if I get home and it doesn’t fit…well then it sits in my closet with the tags on it. Total waste of money…I have things I’ve even bought because I was ‘so sure’ it would fit and loved so much, I tore the tags off, tried it on and then sat on my bed and cried when I couldn’t pull it down over my back. One time I even got stuck in a shirt in a dressing room. It was one of those shirts that “appeared” stretchy on the hanger where it cinched in with elastic right under the bust and then flowed out (female readers know what I’m talking about here…heck even some men may…I won’t judge you on your wardrobe fellas). I got it on with only a bit of a struggle…..took one look, hated that it showed off my upper arms and started to take it off… This is where the problems began to arise. It included lots of sweating and some cursing. Getting it off was like watching a bad episode of WWE but with no opponent but a blue shirt with purple paisley’s. How freaking embarrassing, and I was ALONE! (On a side note, if I’m being honest here, which I am, all episodes of WWE are bad. Again for offending anyone who is a wrestling fan? Too bad, get over it…You clearly have never struggled to get out of a shirt in a dressing room where you could catch glimpses of yourself in three mirrors not just one. This is probably because you are of the male gender)
God bless Chief who has been on many a shopping trips with me and would hold the clothes as I rummaged through the racks to find something, anything that MAY look ok on me. He would stand there quietly, no judgment except to say “that would look nice on you”, which really is probably just his way of being nice, because that’s all he’s ever been when it’s come to how I look, but I usually never agreed with him. Not just because his sense of “style” is great, heck he’s jeans and a t-shirt kind of guy, but more because I don’t feel comfortable in anything I wear. It’s almost like an out of body experience for me. In my head I have this vision of how something will look on me when I see it on the hanger and in my head I look nice….then I put it on and my vision of what I had was totally off. I always feel like a sausage stuffed into one of those Chinese handcuffs.
         Anyway my point here is, I’m on my way to never looking this way again or struggling with my body image. To finally love shopping and getting dressed up????. BRING IT ON! The Isagenix has not only helped me begin to lose weight, but will continue to help shed these unwanted pounds so I can step out of this fat suit finally and for good. So looking forward to when I finally go on that LONG awaited shopping spree I have promised myself when I hit my goal and actually enjoy myself. Get your tool kit ready Chief because I may just ask you to hang three way mirror’s all OVER the house!