Dimples.....and NOT the Cute Kind

         We all know those …… some of us are blessed not to have them………..and then there are the oh so lucky ones who have it………..that’s right people……….cellulite! I’ve even seen some skinny bitches (remember from my first entry, this is a term of endearment) with cellulite. I myself never had a real problem with it as I was growing up until probably my late 20’s. Even when I was on the heavier side that craps didn’t appear until I was pregnant with my first child. After that well things just went downhill from there (and I’m not just talking about my boobs) One day I remember turning around in the mirror and being like What the french toast is this on my ASS!? Low and behold I was visited by the cellulite fairy………almost what seemed like overnight. (that or I was too heavy at the time and it was a struggle to turn that far to see my butt, I’m not sure) Since then that bitch hasn’t left my side…she just kept adding to that dimpling. What HAPPENED to that beautiful skin I had when I was like 6 months old! I swear if I ever get my hands on her I’m tearing her little fairy wings off! Anyway….I know so many women out there feel my pain even some men I’m sure of it………… it’s right up there with the pain we all feel from the notorious back fat. Let’s talk about that now. What the…………..? Whose evil plan to add extra boobs on my back was that??? The workings of some man I’m almost positive of it! Two in the front isn’t enough….let’s add some more…. No not really, because back fat boobs are NOT attractive………. There is absolutely nothing attractive about it. So again these imperfections that I will stand in the mirror and literally stare at over and over make me crazy. Another little luxurious add on to the list of imperfections is one of my absolute favorites (please sense the complete sarcasm in that sentence) is the stretch marks……….ah yes…stretch marks………sure, the ones on my stomach are my warrior marks for carrying two children……WHAT THE HELL about the ones on my thighs and upper arms? Certainly NOT decorations, that’s for sure….but alas all these imperfections sit…. Kinda like unwanted back hair on men right? (if I’ve offended any sasquatches out there, get over it….no really, my sincerest apologies..Some of you may be very comfortable in your fur sweaters).

         So my back fat boobs, my cellulite dimples and even those stretch marks are gonna be sent on a permanent vacation because of Isagenix…… I am already seeing the difference…..7 days and nearly 12 lbs down….whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??? How is this even possible without starving myself?? Well it totally is….and the amazing part is I’m never starving….never even a slight stomach grumble to signal that I’m hungry….. It amazes me every day when I get on the scale… I take a double take. Not only are the pounds dropping off the energy that Chief and I have is beyond compare. Literally from the minute we wake up to the moment we go to bed there is never a moment we feel run down or tired and all without stimulants or caffeine…. And we sleep like babies at night. Chief even stopped snoring! What what????!!!!! YES!!!!
Well kids, off to stare at myself backwards in the full length mirror and connect the dots on my “not so” dimpled rear end! Until tomorrow, gotta go….. Chief’s waiting for me with the magic marker.