Thursday, May 2, 2013

The BEST Worst Night of My Life (When I Woke Up and Started Giving a Fuck




We all know a lot about me by now….. we know I started this journey with a lot of weight to lose, to be exact, 105 pounds… and a whole lot of confidence to gain.…...I am nearly halfway there in just over three months time.  I have gotten there with the most amazing products of Isagenix and the support of so many of my friends, and even people I don’t know cheering me on along the way. 
Everyone gets somewhere from a point A to a point B…………  my point A was  on January 7th….. I was at a restaurant with some girlfriends and having sushi….nothing crazy went on that day….normal Sunday….fairly relaxing.  I was 255 pounds and uncomfortable in my own skin.  I remember sitting at the table eating when all of a sudden out of nowhere the room started to get very “foggy” so to speak and my hearing started to go…my vision got blurry and my heart was racing out of my chest and my throat felt like it was tightening as I breathed.  Oh my fucking God, I’m 34 years old and I’m having a heart attack. I’m having a heart attack in my plate of raw salmon and tuna………..WHAT….THE……FUCK!  All that was racing through my mind was fuck, fuck, fuck (there I go again with that word…it works in SO many situations to enhance things I think) I am going to die at Miyabi and never see my 4 year old son or my husband again……This is how I’m going to die…..because at that moment that is exactly what it felt like….and every fiber of my being began to have regret with how I’d abused my body over the years….how I’d eaten whatever I wanted, processed foods out the wazoo, fruits and vegetables laden in pesticides… meat filled with antibiotics….I drank diet soda like it was water and never  drinking water because it wasn’t diet soda or iced tea with Splenda (my two drinks of choice).  What was going through my head was literally -this is it, this is what you get for all those times you said “I’ll just start tomorrow”……this was my favorite phrase…it was always “oh I’ll just start tomorrow, and enjoy today”…but what was I enjoying?  Being tired and sick or sick and tired all the time…sick and tired and nearly dead it felt like? Dragging my ass out of bed each morning to “get through” another day?  I wasn’t enjoying anything…I was going through my life feeling like crap….but in my mind at that very moment all I kept thinking was “what if there isn’t a tomorrow now, what if I’ve run out of tomorrow’s?”  At 34 years old these should never be normal things that run through your head…. Hell at any age one shouldn’t have to feel or think this way.  But there I was….on my way to the hospital thinking “I’ve really done it now!”
Newsflash … I didn’t die! For everyone who was biting their nails at the last paragraph……………..I am still here!
After being put on a slew of unnecessary medicine (of course at the time I didn’t realize this, I was just taking what the doctor prescribed me.) Here was the laundry list of shit I was put on….medicine for high blood pressure, heart palpitations, anxiety, depression, vertigo….. AND she even threw in some shit for reflux and indigestion because why the hell not right?  I was a walking disaster of health problems…and now a walking pharmacy too. Funny how though NOT ONCE did either doctor I saw at the hospital or my follow up at my general practitioner, not even once mention what was staring us all smack in the face.  No one said to me “you may want to lose a little weight.”  Not one professional in a white coat uttered those words to me…..I was handed 5 prescriptions and sent on my way.   Are you fucking kidding me?????  I mean it isn’t that I didn’t know I needed to lose weight, trust me, I thought about it 23.5 hours out of the day (the other .5 hours in my day were consumed by me saying the word “fuck”).  So for three weeks straight I took this arsenal of medications (again that I didn’t need) all of them causing side effects, some worse than the thing they were treating….
I knew something had to give….I needed to do SOMETHING or I was going to either end up diabetic, or have a REAL heart attack.  I was NOT going to allow that to happen….I needed a solution……I was in one of my darkest places…..severely overweight….tired ALL the time….extremely unmotivated….overall just a very unhappy person.
In walked my best friend…. I’ve mentioned her in my blog before, and Jacqui you know I will always be eternally grateful for sharing this amazing system with me.  All those meds I was on in January…I was off of them first week I started using Isagenix.  Not only that, I haven’t had a single cup of coffee since the beginning…and you are talking about a chick that drank 5-6 cups a day.  Not only that but I fucking don’t crave sweets anymore and haven’t since I started!  Sure once in awhile when I’m out to dinner I’ll have a bite or two of dessert but the old me would have eaten the entire plate and picked it up and licked the remainders off of it (I’m totally fucking with you- that is completely Neanderthal, after all I AM a fucking lady!)
I want to share this amazing system with everyone I know….I want to share it with everyone I DON’T know too…that is how passionate I am about it.  I don’t care if people get tired of hearing about it from me, I’m not gonna stop talking about it.  I wanna go buy a damn bull horn and drive around my neighborhood and embarrass my husband by shouting it out the windows of the car to people.  (Wheels are spinning in my head right now, how can I do something like this and get away with it legally? Seems like SUCH an awesome plan if you ask me) Maybe none of you are asking but I still think that would be BAD ASS!.....an Isagenix van…… with samples to hand out…..Kinda like the ice cream man but I’m so much cooler than he is and I won’t play that annoying music….and I’d be giving away healthy stuff (or excepting donations, either or, after all gotta keep that van gassed up ya know or my whole plan is totally shot to shit)  not the crap that keeps making you tired, and heavy and miserable.
My point here people is everyone needs to feel good….who wants to go through life tired and feeling like every day at 3 pm they just wanna take a nap.  That was my life before…..and I will never go back.  I can say that with confidence because of ALL of the changes that came along with changing my lifestyle.  From the loss of 46 pounds, to glowing skin, to a better attitude about myself and feeling good now when I look in the mirror.  I have never felt like this before…and it just keeps getting better and better every single day.  That night in January was one of BEST, worst nights of my life…..because it was an eye opener for me.  I finally WOKE the FUCK up!  I am halfway to my point B and I’m enjoying every step of the way!

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