tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45408617203656383292024-03-13T08:33:01.011-07:00NAKED in the HallwayAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-44420347597810798922013-06-04T03:05:00.002-07:002013-06-04T03:05:35.191-07:00LEAP OF FAITH (Taking that first jump out of your comfort zone)<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m a skeptic. Like big
time………., probably because I have tried everything out there…..at least
twice. I don’t think I know anyone more
skeptical about weight loss programs then yours truly. I’ve done Atkins, Slim Fast, Weight Watchers,
The Zone, Nutri-System, Sensa (that shit
caused blisters on my tongue and cheeks! How scary is that????) I even tried
Richard Simmons- Move Groove and Loose (Shut up! I could eat all the mushrooms and celery I
wanted to and I didn’t have to slide the little thing over on my handy pocket
calorie and food counter with the nifty pictures on it!). And now for the BIG LAUGH………….I’ve sweated to
the oldies too folks…yep! Me and Richard
and our terry cloth headbands strutting our stuff around like we were the shit!
Anyway, this is just to name a few….. I’ve
also choked down every diet pill you can imagine…Dexatrim, Xenadrine, Alli, Phytodren,
and a slew of others you can buy off the shelf of so called “health stores”. My “dieting”
started back in grade school. My mom
always was on a diet and I always felt like I had some weight to lose so I
thought it was the thing to do. So I
would sneak diet pills. That’s where it
started. They would cut my appetite, yet
at the same time give me these crazy jitters, but I didn’t care, because I didn’t
want to eat right? And not eating meant not gaining weight, right??? How naïve we can be. When that wasn’t enough for me, I would start
vomiting up my food or not eating at all.
The desperation overtook my better judgment. The harm I was doing to my body at such a
young age was insane. I’ve spoken before
in my blogs about the binging and purging and the not eating at all as well..About
the pill after pill I threw down my throat to try to help me get to that ever
sought after goal weight….the depleting entire food groups in hopes to drop
lots of weight…it never ended, this hamster wheel I just couldn’t get off of. This body of mine has been through hell….and
I was the one who put it through it. All
so I could look acceptable to society on the outside. It didn’t matter to me how I got there, as
long as I no longer was the heavy one.
This went on throughout most of, if not all of my adulthood, except during
pregnancy. The pills, the purging at
times, the cutting whole food groups, the extreme calorie cutting, the fad
diets. I thought that was the only
way. I mean they practically jam that
shit down your throat with beautiful, fit women on TV every day right? Well, I wanted to look like them. I wanted to be lean, trim, and beautiful…like
them. I wanted to be the one people were
looking at because I looked really good, not because I was the overweight one
in the room (fyi, this was my mindset, for all I knew people weren’t even
judging me, but when you are heavy it goes through your mind all the time…that
being uncomfortable in your own skin kind of deal)….. Sadly on all the fad
diets, any amount of weight I would lose, even if it was with Weight Watchers
and controlling my portions, I would gain it all back plus another 20 because
no matter what, the processed foods, the pesticide covered fruits and
vegetables, the hormone laden meats and cheeses…were still going in my
system. I didn’t realize all of that was
so toxic and that is why my body kept yo-yo’ing back to BIG….because you could
get skinny as a rail, but when you are still toxic and acidic, your body does
NOT like that environment, so it packs on the fat to protect the organs…hence
why I would always gain everything back plus some. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have found my solution…not a diet…not a fad….…I took that
leap of faith and couldn’t be more satisfied with my choice to do so and with
the amazing results I have had because of that leap. Fifty-six pounds gone in 17 weeks using
Isagenix nutritional cleansing program.
No diet pills, no fads, no binging, no purging, no depleting food groups,
no calorie counting, no point counting….Just pure whole food organic nutrition…and
by far the EASIEST plan I’ve ever followed…and when you stick the right fuel in
your body it has nothing else to do but use the fuel the way it was supposed to. I have been building my team along the way
and making friends along this same journey.
Some are doing it for weight loss, some are doing it just to be
healthier in general and lose the toxicity.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I can only see myself reaching my goals, losing the other
49 lbs by my birthday on September 30<sup>th</sup>…. and for once in my life
being able to maintain that for the rest of my life with this program. It has become a lifestyle for me and I wouldn’t
change it for the world. Yes, yes, I
know this blog entry was not funny like my normal ones can be, but I just want
the people out there that are on the fence about changing their life and health
and even their wealth, if you let me show you how, to know sometimes you just
have to take that “leap of faith” to lose what you don’t want and gain
everything you do!</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
For all my readers, I will be holding a “Sweatin’ to the
Oldies” class in my living room every third Thursday of the month! Who’s with me????</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-61000354161326853242013-05-18T08:37:00.002-07:002013-05-18T08:37:41.260-07:00THE GAS SMELLED ROUND THE WORLD (the bodily functions that ran my life)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I have no problem laying it all out there anymore (the
old me NEVER would have shared all these personal stories but that is where all
these awesome changes have come into play with my new life.)…because I now have
no shame about what my life WAS….I want to share my worst moments…along with my
best because I know I can be the voice of many who are afraid to step up and
talk or afraid to take that first leap to better themselves…I want to inspire
people to do that….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m gonna share a
little story about my past health issues.
I may or may not use the word “fuck” throughout….one can never be too
sure…..Ok who am I kidding?…that word will be sprinkled about in every blog I’m
pretty sure. Before Isagenix, my stomach
was one hot fucking mess (see, there it is….already). By hot mess, I mean I am 34 years old….and
have already had 3 colonoscopies in my lifetime. Don’t be jealous… although we all know how
much fun it sounds to drink this nasty salty saline that they “flavor” with
lime and ginger to make it more palpable…..I will tell you first hand…FUCK NO
it is the WORST tasting stuff ever…and it has forever tainted my ability to
drink limeade again (because that is what my doctor recommended I put it in to
help with the flavor) NOTHING can help with that flavor, let’s just be very
clear on THAT!….Then you get to shit your brains out for hours and I mean HOURS,
go to the hospital the next morning looking
like hell and feeling weak and nauseous because you can’t eat or drink… and THEN you
get to have a camera shoved up your hiney along with a steady stream of air,
all while they have you under anesthesia and all the people in the room get to
see your bits and pieces without you remembering squat about it. Afterwards and here’s the REAL gem….. you get
to lay in the bed in a “recovery room” with just a thin curtain separating you
and alllllllllll the other post procedure patients…..and you get to………. FART………..yep! You read that right….you get to (they make
you) fart and fart and fart out ALL that air they blew up your ass while you
were knocked out. The nurses would make it sound like it was just SO easy to
rip one in front of (or at least next to a curtain) that separated you from a
complete stranger. I have a farting
complex…………this would NEVER be easy for me….. How much fun right? So not once, not twice but three times I have
had to do this….It never got easier any time.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason I had to do this is because I have always had the
worst stomach…I would eat and I would be in the bathroom within minutes…it
would go right through me. I have been
from specialist to specialist….no one had any idea except “IBS” was the answer
I got…each and every time. No one saying
what was staring them AND me in the face all along yet no one ever brought it
up? NO one ever thought well maybe it’s
the shit you eat…..it took me two more colonoscopies and about 8 more years of
these stomach issues to figure out it was the crap I was putting in my body…and
I don’t just mean the fried foods…it was literally everything… the sauces, the
dairy, all that processed junk, the diet sodas and artificial sweeteners….I was
filling my stomach up with…wasn’t just putting the pounds on me but it was also
making me toxic and that was my body’s way of rejecting that shit….literally
and figuratively.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since beginning Isagenix I have not had ONE single bout of
IBS………this is how I know that it was the food that I used to put in my body
that was causing years and years of distress on my stomach and my toilet! Obviously Isagenix cannot claim to cure
anything as it is just pure whole food organic nutrition…but first hand I KNOW
it has changed my life and my bowels for the better! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
***A little side note about my first time having a
colonoscopy…. For some reason I thought it would be a wonderful idea to go for
all you can eat wings the night after the colonoscopy was finished….(No one
ever needs “all you can eat” by the way …of anything) ……. But anyway….so after
having a completely empty stomach, a camera and air shoved up my bum that
morning…I decided that wings were what I wanted to eat…and BOY did I have my
fair share of the “all you can eat”………So anyway, on the way home…of course…my
stomach started to feel icky, as always….….Chief was driving (we were still
just dating at this time)….we were about 5 minutes from home and I had to fart……..and
I mean I had to fart worse than I ever had to fart in my life…there was still
air stuck up in me from the morning’s treat of a procedure….and I just didn’t
realize it til I added the fried wings on top of that….So I let it rip…..and
THANK GOD it was silent……………….but HOLY HELL it was also DEADLY…………. I quick
rolled down the window….. Hoping,….. PRAYING, Chief wouldn’t get a whiff and it
would just make it’s way out of the window. This sucker was LINGERING! It would not, COULD not find it’s way out the
open window to relieve us of it’s stench….OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD….FUCK FUCK FUCK! He’s gonna smell it and KNOW it was me…..he’s
not gonna wanna keep dating me! This is
the shit that was going through my head….. So I had to fess up and say “I’m
sorry if you smell that…My stomach is still full of air and I didn’t think it
would stink”………………Chief turned to me, with a big ol’ grin on his face and said “holy
shit babe! That was AWESOME!!!!! I thought we just passed a shit truck or
something!”……………and that my friends is part of the reason I married that man………</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-75411067091299557852013-05-06T17:59:00.001-07:002013-05-06T17:59:06.620-07:005K OR BUST (Dedicated to my new friend and trainer)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, so as I mentioned previously in another post, I am
training to run a 5K. Now some of you
may be thinking big deal…it’s 3.1 miles…..Actually when you say it like that it
doesn’t sound bad at all really. I mean I do 3 miles on the treadmill almost
every day……..yet I don’t “run”….I actually walk fast, uphill for my treadmill
workouts. Running is a whole other
fucking ball game for me (See I never cease to use that word when needed). This 5K was not my idea………actually I shy away
from anything that has to do with running because I literally SUCK at it, and I
get the nervous poop pains when I even think someone is gonna ask me to run
with them. Go ahead and laugh, I know I’m
not alone in this! I get out of breath
too easily, I get pains in my calves, or stitches in my side….It’s a whole
plethora of issues that arise when I try to run ….so I’ve just always avoided
it at all costs…kinda like a when you have the option to answer the door when
the Jehovah witnesses come knocking , I avoid answering the door….like every
time…It’s pretty much like that ….( disclaimer:
I’m all about everyone celebrating their own religion, I’m just not a
fan of ANYONE celebrating it on my front porch,….no offense to anyone out
there) It’s like this sinking feeling in
the pit of my stomach, knowing that I’m not very good at it and that people are
going to be watching me, and I am gonna probably trip over my own feet. (I do
enjoy when people trip….I find it super funny….I’ve written about that before…except
I don’t enjoy when it’s ME). Another
reason I despise running is basically this… have you ever tried to lug around
60 extra pounds when you are pounding the pavement? Sure I’ve lost almost 50
pounds already, but let’s face it….I’m still no tiny little thing….RUNNING
SCARES ME! The idea of running makes me
wanna “run for the hills” so to speak…as odd as that sounds!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So in comes my trainer (I am SO blessed that the lovely
Lindsay moved across the street from me AND is a personal trainer AND is
training me at no charge. I’m her
project….and I’m a very willing subject.
She came into my life at the exact moment I needed her….it’s funny how
things work that way…..She is going to mold me into a runner………That’s right, you
fuckin heard me…..she’s training me to become a runner. I told her by my 35<sup>th</sup>
birthday on September 30<sup>th</sup> I wanted to be down my full 105 lbs. that
I promised myself I would lose. She then
came up with this “brilliant” idea that we we’re gonna sign up for a 5k
together. She. Is. Awesome. There is only a TAD bit of sarcasm there………..
(She really IS awesome, I’m totally teasing right now..but this is all part of
my fear). So let me give you a visual of
Lindsay … She is this strikingly beautiful little peanut of a woman who is in
the most amazing shape ever… who wants to train 200 plus pound, me! Not only is she training me to be a runner
she’s fully putting her heart in soul in getting me in the BEST shape (Round is
a shape right?) I have ever been in.
Between her and the Isagenix as my new lifestyle, I am so sure I will
get there…I may drop dead at the end, but you bet your asses I’m not going to
give up and I’m gonna look damn good doing it!!
I’m pretty sure there are only 2 other things I’ve ever wanted as much
in my life…that would be my son and my husband……. Poor, poor Lindsay has her
work cut out for her. She’s a fucking
saint! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So three days into
training on weights and my body is like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO
ME?????......yet it’s like the best pain EVER, because I know I am doing
amazing things for myself. Has anyone
out there in blog-land ever done planks?
Who the fuck invented these things???
Probably an asshole, that’s who.
But for real, I get the idea behind them, I know I’m tightening up my core….but
good Lord above, they are HARD!!!! Soon
will be burpees…….if you don’t know what a burpee is…please do yourself a favor
and search that shit up on YouTube……………..I’m already crying inside in the fetal
position and I haven’t even started those yet! Feel free to cry for me and with
me….I just keep the goal in my mind as I’m in searing pain on my 40<sup>th</sup>
lunge……. As my thighs are wobbling as I stand in the shower under the hot water…..again….pain..but
a wonderful pain. For anyone who has
been in my boat, rowing along with me, you know EXACTLY what I mean. I can’t wait to start seeing even more
results now that I’ve stepped up my game so much. This is a very personal journey for me that I
have shared with all of you because I know a lot of you are on a similar one. For those of you who have not begun your
journey yet but you always have that voice in the back of your head saying “get
up and do something”…..I want to be part of that voice…I want to inspire people
to become better….to feel better…to make their lives the best they can. Of course I will occasionally (who am I kidding)
throw out the word Fuck to give it a little sparkle here and there….but I want
people to read my blog and be like FUCK YEA if she can do it, so can I! Seriously….if I can do it ANYONE can do it!
I want people to one day say “because of you I didn’t give up…I kept going”. We all have that voice in our head that says
it would just be easier to quit….but what good does quitting ever do? (Unless
it’s like quitting smoking) I’m not a fan of quitting….. Just keep pushing…
Kinda like when Lindsay is training me…and she says, just as I’m about to say I
“can’t”….she says “you can do it”….and fuck yea she’s right!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-72621588896102093212013-05-02T18:21:00.001-07:002013-05-02T18:21:19.780-07:00The BEST Worst Night of My Life (When I Woke Up and Started Giving a Fuck<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all know a lot about me by now….. we know I started this
journey with a lot of weight to lose, to be exact, 105 pounds… and a whole lot
of confidence to gain.…...I am nearly halfway there in just over three months
time. I have gotten there with the most
amazing products of Isagenix and the support of so many of my friends, and even
people I don’t know cheering me on along the way. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone gets somewhere from a point A to a point B………… my point A was on January 7<sup>th</sup>….. I was at a
restaurant with some girlfriends and having sushi….nothing crazy went on that
day….normal Sunday….fairly relaxing. I
was 255 pounds and uncomfortable in my own skin. I remember sitting at the table eating when
all of a sudden out of nowhere the room started to get very “foggy” so to speak
and my hearing started to go…my vision got blurry and my heart was racing out of
my chest and my throat felt like it was tightening as I breathed. Oh my fucking God, I’m 34 years old and I’m
having a heart attack. I’m having a heart attack in my plate of raw salmon and
tuna………..WHAT….THE……FUCK! All that was
racing through my mind was fuck, fuck, fuck (there I go again with that word…it
works in SO many situations to enhance things I think) I am going to die at
Miyabi and never see my 4 year old son or my husband again……This is how I’m
going to die…..because at that moment that is exactly what it felt like….and
every fiber of my being began to have regret with how I’d abused my body over
the years….how I’d eaten whatever I wanted, processed foods out the wazoo,
fruits and vegetables laden in pesticides… meat filled with antibiotics….I drank
diet soda like it was water and never drinking water because it wasn’t diet soda or iced
tea with Splenda (my two drinks of choice).
What was going through my head was literally -this is it, this is what
you get for all those times you said “I’ll just start tomorrow”……this was my
favorite phrase…it was always “oh I’ll just start tomorrow, and enjoy today”…but
what was I enjoying? Being tired and
sick or sick and tired all the time…sick and tired and nearly dead it felt like?
Dragging my ass out of bed each morning to “get through” another day? I wasn’t enjoying anything…I was going through
my life feeling like crap….but in my mind at that very moment all I kept
thinking was “what if there isn’t a tomorrow now, what if I’ve run out of tomorrow’s?”
At 34 years old these should never be
normal things that run through your head…. Hell at any age one shouldn’t have
to feel or think this way. But there I
was….on my way to the hospital thinking “I’ve really done it now!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Newsflash … I didn’t die! For everyone who was biting their
nails at the last paragraph……………..I am still here!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After being put on a slew of unnecessary medicine (of course
at the time I didn’t realize this, I was just taking what the doctor prescribed
me.) Here was the laundry list of shit I was put on….medicine for high blood
pressure, heart palpitations, anxiety, depression, vertigo….. AND she even
threw in some shit for reflux and indigestion because why the hell not
right? I was a walking disaster of
health problems…and now a walking pharmacy too. Funny how though NOT ONCE did either
doctor I saw at the hospital or my follow up at my general practitioner, not
even once mention what was staring us all smack in the face. No one said to me “you may want to lose a
little weight.” Not one professional in
a white coat uttered those words to me…..I was handed 5 prescriptions and sent
on my way. Are you fucking kidding
me????? I mean it isn’t that I didn’t know
I needed to lose weight, trust me, I thought about it 23.5 hours out of the day
(the other .5 hours in my day were consumed by me saying the word “fuck”). So for three weeks straight I took this
arsenal of medications (again that I didn’t need) all of them causing side
effects, some worse than the thing they were treating….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew something had to give….I needed to do SOMETHING or I
was going to either end up diabetic, or have a REAL heart attack. I was NOT going to allow that to happen….I
needed a solution……I was in one of my darkest places…..severely overweight….tired
ALL the time….extremely unmotivated….overall just a very unhappy person.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In walked my best friend…. I’ve mentioned her in my blog
before, and Jacqui you know I will always be eternally grateful for sharing
this amazing system with me. All those
meds I was on in January…I was off of them first week I started using
Isagenix. Not only that, I haven’t had a
single cup of coffee since the beginning…and you are talking about a chick that
drank 5-6 cups a day. Not only that but
I fucking don’t crave sweets anymore and haven’t since I started! Sure once in awhile when I’m out to dinner I’ll
have a bite or two of dessert but the old me would have eaten the entire plate
and picked it up and licked the remainders off of it (I’m totally fucking with
you- that is completely Neanderthal, after all I AM a fucking lady!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to share this amazing system with everyone I know….I
want to share it with everyone I DON’T know too…that is how passionate I am
about it. I don’t care if people get tired
of hearing about it from me, I’m not gonna stop talking about it. I wanna go buy a damn bull horn and drive
around my neighborhood and embarrass my husband by shouting it out the windows
of the car to people. (Wheels are
spinning in my head right now, how can I do something like this and get away
with it legally? Seems like SUCH an awesome plan if you ask me) Maybe none of
you are asking but I still think that would be BAD ASS!.....an Isagenix van……
with samples to hand out…..Kinda like the ice cream man but I’m so much cooler
than he is and I won’t play that annoying music….and I’d be giving away healthy
stuff (or excepting donations, either or, after all gotta keep that van gassed
up ya know or my whole plan is totally shot to shit) not the crap that keeps making you tired, and
heavy and miserable. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My point here people is everyone needs to feel good….who
wants to go through life tired and feeling like every day at 3 pm they just
wanna take a nap. That was my life
before…..and I will never go back. I can
say that with confidence because of ALL of the changes that came along with
changing my lifestyle. From the loss of
46 pounds, to glowing skin, to a better attitude about myself and feeling good
now when I look in the mirror. I have
never felt like this before…and it just keeps getting better and better every
single day. That night in January was
one of BEST, worst nights of my life…..because it was an eye opener for
me. I finally WOKE the FUCK up! I am halfway to my point B and I’m enjoying
every step of the way!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-64142548092088969792013-04-30T18:15:00.000-07:002013-04-30T18:15:02.474-07:00……BUT YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE (cleaning out my closet of shame)<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Ok people, this shit is NEVER ok to say….You may as well say “for a fat girl you don’t sweat much”…..we all know what, “but you have such a pretty face” really means…..It means your face is nice, but your ass is fat. I can say this without being considered a bitch ( I hope) because I’ve been there….hell, I’m still overweight a</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">nd considered plus sized (two sizes away from being out of that category by the way….I just did a happy dance behind my laptop) but I can tell you…no plus sized woman EVER wants to hear this phrase uttered to her…we actually don’t even want to consider the fact that the thought may have crossed your mind to say something so asinine to us….My mommom was notorious for saying this exact phrase to me…. Usually it would go along like this….I can hear it in my head so vividly…”but Tracey, you have such a pretty face,….if you’d just get some of that weight off of you”………………I’ve learned over time to let it roll off my back…I used to let it bother the shit out of me…I think all that changed when I started working with senior citizens every day, and realize they have no fucking filter and will say whatever they damn well please, without thinking twice. Maybe this is a good trait to have…..I’m not sure, I was always taught if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Except “fuck” I like to say that, whether it’s considered nice or not, I don’t care, I love the word and I will probably always say it…….so too fucking bad, deal with it. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUCK…………ok I think I have gotten it out of my system for another paragraph or two……….maybe half a paragraph..I won’t know til I continue writing…..<br /> </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> I’ve been going through my clothes a lot lately….I’ve lost nearly 50 lbs…. I have hardly anything to wear now. Of course it is bitter sweet….the bitter part is the money I have to spend to buy a new wardrobe…however that is soooo overshadowed by the SWEET!!!! And by “sweet” I mean sweet baby Jesus look how far I’ve come in just 3 months!!!! But let’s get back to my closet……most of these clothes have become a security blanket for me……I think I’ve kept so many of these bigger clothes in there over the years as a “just in case you get fat again” situation arose. So many times I have gone back to my size 18/20 jeans…my XXL shirts….. that up and down Yo-yo-ing I’ve spent so much of my adulthood doing….I’m now 12 weeks into Isagenix and down to a size 13/14 pants (they are getting loose as well) and a Large shirt…( I am even able to wear this adorable pair of espadrille shoes I bought about two years ago that my feet were too fat to shove into!)…I’m sure you all recall my blog “cute shoes, fat feet”….…I don’t ever want to or PLAN to go back to that size 20 miserable, tired, heavy former shell of a person I used to be. When I say I was miserable, I mean MISERABLE. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> This journey for me however is much more than just about the weight loss. It’s about finding myself again….I am fucking see I used fuck again, one bad ass chic! I have gained confidence that I never had. Sure in the past I would do a really good job of faking confidence to get through a situation, but man oh man, this shit is REAL this time around. When you feel good from the outside in, it literally shows all over the outside! I had someone in the grocery store the other day tell me that my skin was beautiful and glowing……….SCREEEEEEEEEECH, put on the brakes people…………”Exsqueeeeeeze me ma’am? Did you just say I have nice skin?” I have never been told that before…(maybe it goes along with “but you have such a pretty face”? I’m not sure.) But yea, my skin is looking pretty awesome lately! Not only did some random stranger come up to me and say I had nice skin ( I’m not sure whether I should be concerned or creeped out that she was looking at me when I didn’t realize it….was she following me around the store? Waiting for an opportune time to tell me this? Did she purposely get behind me in line while I was trying to balance my 5 items in my hands and my purse and my car keys while trying to get my debit card out….all because this stubborn asshole that I am didn’t want to grab a cart or a basket because really, I only needed an item or two…or 5…) But she also said my skin was glowing! And I have to agree….but the glow isn’t just about my healthy skin since nutritionally cleansing my system of it’s toxins, it really is glowing because from the inside I am a better person. I hold myself better…I present myself better…I am finally proud of myself. I smile more when I’m out….I make eye contact with strangers and give them a warm smile….because I don’t feel like I’m hiding in a fat suit anymore where people are judging me.<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> So my mission this week is to finish going through all of my clothes and once and for all getting rid of all those security blankets…..I have made a decision to make Isagenix my lifestyle….to embrace it fully. It fits into every aspect of my life…I’m still able to go to parties….to eat out with friends,..to entertain friends…. I’ve been asked “do you eat real food on that diet?”…………..Well first of all….it’s NOT a diet…it’s a lifestyle change. And yes I eat “real” food on it…whatever that means…I always chuckle at this because Isagenix is about as real as it gets…. This is the crème de la crème of nutrition……You can’t get this kind of organic, nutrient rich food anywhere else….</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />So I leave you all with this……. What is the person in the grocery store behind you thinking when they look at you? Are you glowing? If not it’s your time to shed that outer shell and fly my little butterflies………spread those fucking wings with me and let’s soar!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-66022929532063015302013-04-20T09:15:00.000-07:002013-04-20T09:15:05.738-07:00WAITING IN LINE AT THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER (The loop de loops of self loathing)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Self loathing is
by far one of the worst traits a person can possess. I say this from firsthand experience. I say this because from the time I was little
until <i>just</i> recently this was my
life. I was always the bright, happy, Susie
sunshine person from the outside, big smile, shoulder to cry on friend, pick
you up when you are feeling down, make you laugh til you wanted to pee (or so I’ve
been told) etc. etc….. But inside I was always falling apart… I hid it well….or
so I thought. Clearly by me saying I hid
it well is a tad false…..this is where the anxiety meds came in, the
anti-depressants, the emotional breakdowns and panic attacks …… I guess really
I just <i>masked</i> it all. My life inside my own mind was exactly what I
titled this post…an emotional roller coaster.
And this NAKED chic wanted to get OFF!!!! One minute I would be happy, the next I could
be in a pile of tears sitting in the bathroom because I just hated how I looked
and felt about myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know exactly where this all started….I
have my ideas…when I was younger I was compared by people a lot to my beautiful
blonde haired, blue eyed sister. She was
always slim, with long straight hair….and when people would see us together it
was almost like instant comparison…some would even say “she’s blonde and blue
eyed, where did YOU come from?” Like
that was really an odd question since my father and I have the same coloring
(Asses). I always had a boyfriend, so
it wasn’t that guys didn’t find me attractive but I myself, never ever saw what
they saw. I always compared myself to my
older sister. She was like this goddess
I would look up to….We would fight like cats and dogs when we were younger,
like sisters that are 2 years apart often do.
I would steal her clothes so I could feel like her when I was at school
and then before she got home I would hang them back up in her closet so she wouldn’t
know….She always found out….. My lying and sleuthing skills are for lack of a
better word, non-existent. She would ask
me if I wore something and I just didn’t know how to lie….(that or she could
smell the perfume I wore on the clothes I’m not too sure)……not only do I hate
liars, I just cannot do it…I SUCK at it!
Anyway I think from grade school that is where it stemmed from…when she
started to come into her own and I was always kinda in her shadow. It’s funny because even to this day I still
look up to her and envy her. I don’t
blame anyone for that, as it is in the past, but if I had to pinpoint a time in
my life where this all began I would say it was probably around grade school.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know when
you watch those talk shows about those beautiful women who would think nothing
about them is attractive, and they simply just saw flaws when they looked in
the mirror? Well that was me….I mean to
an extent….I never spent money on plastic surgery to change my appearance or
anything, but I will admit I always wished I had the money to alter what parts
of me I didn’t like. That would have
taken a boat load of money. I’m also a
Libra and we are very vain, so maybe my damn astrological sign has made it
harder for me to accept who I am on the outside …who writes that shit because
my sign is me to a freakin T and that is
scary! ..I guess in a way I am vain because I spent years upon years judging
myself on my appearance. The funny thing
is I never judge anyone else on their appearance…..just myself. I know we are our own worst critics….I’m the
Roger Ebert of the Tracey show. He’s got
nothing on me with his thumbs up and thumbs down shit….I am the queen at
judging and critiquing myself. In my
past I could have easily pointed out 10 things wrong with me physically before
I said <i>one nice thing</i> about
myself. What the fuck???????? That’s certainly no way to live! Yet it’s
exactly how I lived. My husband would
pay me a compliment and here’s what would go on in my head…”he’s only saying
that because he’s my husband and he has to”……….UGHHHHHHHHHHH!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s been about 12
weeks now, since I started changing my life.
Not only have I changed my outward appearance by using the Isagenix
system (which I will be forever grateful for, and a lifetime user of as they
have saved my life, literally and figuratively) but every day when I look in
the mirror now I see something about myself that I like and I make a point to
say something positive. That emotional
rollercoaster that I used to ride each and every day is almost nonexistent
anymore. I’m a better mom too. My stress level is so much lower than it used
to be (thank you Ionix Supreme…my Isagenix buddies will know what I am talking
about with that!) I had so much self
hate inside of me I would fly off the handle much easier before, I would stress
about everyday life occurrences….all in all I wasn’t a very happy person on the
inside, regardless of what I showed my friends and family on the outside… It
was almost like a dirty little secret. It’s
funny now, I find myself still waiting in line to get back on that emotional
rollercoaster where I used to travel daily….however with the changes I’ve made,
I don’t ever see that happening again. I
have the tools now to make sure that never ever happens again…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I ask every one of my
friends to be a bit cheesy today and give yourself a pat on the back or even a
nice long hug, hey if you want to make out with yourself in the mirror that’s
your prerogative, I won’t judge….but it’s time we all start liking ourselves a
little more…… and if you know someone who may be stuck on those fucking loop de
loops of emotions, how about stopping that rollercoaster and taking their hand
and helping them out. People need to see
how awesome they really are and the beauty that not only lies on the outside
but within. (Damn! I could be a Hallmark card writer!...I’m in the wrong
business!) It took me years and years to
come to this realization that I really am beautiful….. even if I am no super
model, even if I may never be a size 4……(I’ll settle for a size 6…… snicker,
snicker…in all honesty with the plan I’m on it’s absolutely a realistic goal
and I’m excited to get there!) I am worth putting in the time and energy to
love myself….do I think it’s true what they say…”you can’t love someone until
you love yourself”? I more or less think
that quote should say “you can’t accept someone else’s love until you love
yourself”..that sounds more like it fits my journey…..…….. Start loving
yourselves people…. Or you just may find me on your doorstep with open arms
ready to hug the shit out of you, just to give you some love that you deserve! I’m a really good house guest though, you may
not want me to leave…I can make you laugh, I am a kick ass cook, and I like
doing dishes…….. But in all seriousness, let’s start loving everything about
ourselves…from the outside in….I promise you your whole outlook on life will
change for the better!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My new bucket list includes becoming a motivational speaker………..but
I guess I better brush up on my verbiage,…I don’t think the word “fuck” is very
acceptable at public events. Have a
happy weekend readers! And remember, go
give yourself a pat on the back or a juicy wet mirror kiss!!!!!!!!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-63818967529188129772013-04-09T20:19:00.001-07:002013-04-09T20:19:31.924-07:00DARK SIDE OF THE MOON PI<br style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">A BIG OL' FAT THANK YOU TO ALL MY SUPPORTERS OUT THERE! IF I COULD KISS YA ALL I WOULD! (HOWEVER, THIS FEVER BLISTER, EVEN THOUGH IT'S PRETTY MUCH GONE, GENERALLY MAKES EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS!)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The hubs and I went to AC to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary.........here's a little sneak peek into how our trip went on our isagenix plan............. (OMG!!! d</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #898f9c; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">ude! get your minds out of the gutter people...what did you think i meant when i said sneak peak!???)<br /><br />I am looking forward to two cleanse days in a row tomorrow and Thursday ....even though I did really well on our trip to AC, I did indulge a little and had a few bites of dessert each night ...... plus the effing casino's were filled with cigarette smoke!!!! blech!!!! need to cleanse me some cells!!! ... we had a really great time....and did our shakes and bars for breakfast and lunch and only ate the regular dinners each night...I made really healthy choices each night ( because I didn't desire the normal fatty foods) ....I will say....even though we ordered a dessert each night to split, the old me would have been rejoicing inside when Chief would only want a bit or two....THIS time it was me too who only wanted a few bites....the stuff just tastes soooo sugary to me anymore...I don't enjoy it like I used to and always feel icky afterwards...I even got the shakes from the sugar!!! ewwww.........i know that is my body telling me it's something that is not good for me..... Chief and i are always talking about how amazing we feel..... ( and ladies...let me tell you.......I have always adored m y husband,...always loved every bit of him....but my oh my oh MY MY MY..........he has dropped over 30 lbs and I feel like a damn teenager all over again! He makes me swoon he's so damn handsome!!!!) and how we will never go back to our old lifestyle because we have found something that works and makes us feel amazing.......... There is no way in hell I would ever go back to how i used to feel when I know now what it really is supposed to feel like to be "alive"..... I feel I've been given a second chance here...... Isagenix is some sort of gift..........I swear it is........it has become the answer to all my problems....it feels so good to finally be taking care of me for once...and knowing my husband and son are getting the same amazing food as well? It's a no brainer!!!! Being able to teach my son what is good and bad for him and how to make the right choices when it comes to his food at such a young age...the kid won't have to go through feeling like shit like Chief and I had for so many years....<br /><br />As I said on my regular facebook post.....there are the people out there (some are even family members...YES!!!!! I know...) who tease me about this journey or GASP! have blocked me from their facebook walls.....and how much I have committed to it....all the research I have taken upon myself to read and learn about the crap we have been pretty much poisoning ourselves with over the years....because we have been fooled.... because we aren't being told what's really in our food...even those regular fruits and veggies you are buying that you think are healthy....do some research..............<br /><br />My question though is this...why would you make fun of someone who is taking their health into their own hands and finally making good choices? That's beyond me. Everyone should step up and think about it....you really are what you eat.....I really don't give a turd if you don't like what I am doing or if you don't like what I am saying.....or if you think it is some sort of "fad"...because it absolutely is not...there's noting "fad" about eating super food organic nutrition and remaking your entire body over in a healthy way. For the people who think Isagenix is a fad, or a diet or whatever..........do the research....it's nothing like what you "think" it is........That is the "dark side" to this journey...the nay sayers.....the debbie downers...the people who were there for you when you were all about eating shitty and feeling shitty about yourselves together...bitching and moaning about how crappy you felt as you shoved another bon bon down your throat (totally been there, done that!!!!!!) ....who now haven't changed their lives and how they are living....don't want to be there to celebrate the positive changes I have made...I guess for those people I just have to suck it up and realize that is their own issues they are dealing with.....<br /><br />Now, for my supporters.............. Here's where that juicy wet kiss comes in...........(once the fever blister is completely gone I mean)... I will be forever eternally grateful to my best friend Jacqueline Cocozza who introduced me to this........you will never know my gratitude...yet I will continue to remind you, text you, shout it out to you when i see you, lift you up and hug you....(even kiss you when my lip herp is gone) ..and to the rest of my team NAKED peeps and the Isagenix friends I have met along my journey...I don't know any of you face to face.... and yet you have welcomed me with open arms and endless encouragement...you root for me and cheer me on along the way.....You send me messages, you text me....you make me want to try harder and push harder and work harder towards my goal. I am forever grateful for each and every one of you!!!!!! ♥ If I could tag every one of you in this post I would..but it won't let me......Silly facebook page..... but anyway........I really can't say thank you enough.....You have made the dark side of the moon pie sooooo much sunnier on the opposite side!!!!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-78445700824133826442013-04-01T18:37:00.000-07:002013-04-01T18:37:00.059-07:00THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL (dedicated to my son and how he saved my life)<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> I have thought so many times about sharing this part of my life with more than the people closest to me. It is the hardest part to share. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy……. But I feel it signifies another moment in my life that has led me to where I am today……… It is not an easy read…so I’m giving everyone fair warning….. </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">As I sit and write it, I still cry over the memory, as I do quite often.<br /><br /> Just like so many of you, I have dealt with shit in my life. We have been through a lifetime worth of crap in the 13 years we’ve been together. The absolute worst was losing our daughter. I replay that day in my head all the time……..it’s been almost 7 years and not a day goes by that I don’t replay parts, if not all of that day in my head. I was on the cusp of my 6th month of pregnancy and I went into labor and it couldn’t be stopped because my water broke. The tried to save her but her lungs weren’t developed yet. I had to stay in that hospital and give birth to her knowing she wouldn’t be coming out alive. Knowing that usually when people find these times to be super happy, this for us was just the absolute opposite. I remember being so hysterical and the nurse coming in shooting my IV up with some drugs to calm me down…….I became numb ……I couldn’t grasp what was really happening….. When it was time to push I remember the room going perfectly silent and turning the most beautiful shades of this white light. I kept saying to my husband’s cousin to shut the blinds because the light was blinding me…. But she said they were already closed. I remember her being born….the room lighting up beautifully…..complete silence…(there were about 8 people in the room all talking between my family and doctors and nurses, yet there was not one noise for about 15 seconds as she was being delivered…..then all the commotion started again as she was whisked away to be cleaned off. This moment will never leave my mind……the beautiful light…the silence….( about a week later I brought this up to my mother, my sister and my husband’s aunt and cousin who were all in the room during her birth and asked them if they recall anything weird...just to see what they would say ( I thought it was the drugs they gave me)…..HOLY SHIT they all experienced the same thing!!!! It still gives me chills to think about it……. She was perfect like a little doll…we named her Ashleigh Joy…she even had little eyelashes…( I remember thinking, why God? Why did you give her eyelashes before lungs????!!!!!! And how I will still never understand how that all works)..we held her still little body and cried and said our goodbyes. It was the absolute worst day of my life. I don’t think I came out of shock for probably 6 months from that. I spent weeks into months coming home from work and going right to my bed to cry into my pillow…..I walked around in what I would call “fish bowl” syndrome. Where everything is going on around you but you feel like you are stuck in this glass ball, just meandering, to get through each day. All I wanted to know was why? Why us? They say things happen for a reason and in the moment we can’t see the trees through the woods….but there was a purpose to this significant event in our lives. At that time I had no clue what it was. I knew there is nothing that could have changed what happened as well but of course I spent forever blaming myself and anything else I could think of so I could put the blame somewhere…I had to put it somewhere or I would have gone crazy….after all…. How does shit like this happen? Who decides to take life away? Before it’s even really begun? Who decided to cheat Chief and I from being parents and leaving us to grieve in what seemed like the loneliest place one could ever ever be? Who the fuck makes these decisions???!!!!!<br />As it turned out what I have is a genetic disorder that affects me when I’m pregnant. The blessing that came along with losing Ashleigh is that I was able to find out what was wrong and my sister was able to carry her 2nd pregnancy to full term because of it. (Little did we know when her son was born at 10 weeks premature2 years prior to me losing my daughter, my sister also carries part of this genetic disorder). So losing Ashleigh was not totally in vain. Because we lost her, I now have my two other nephews as well and I have the most beautiful son on the planet. That’s right my faithful readers, I’m talking about Igor. (This isn’t his real name….if you have been following along since the beginning you know I like to make up names for the people in my life!) Anyway back to why I’m writing this particular blog and why I am dedicating it to my favorite little 4 year old……. I know I will never have my daughter back but she is forever on my mind. She comes to me in dreams and leaves my husband, Igor and myself feathers in our path when we least expect them…… I often spend my idle time wondering what would she have been like? I still cry, even 7 years later when I think about her and who she’d be today…… Who would she have looked like? Would she have my eyes, or Chief’s?<br /> Here’s the part that relates to all the life changes I have been making since the end of January of this year. Forever I blamed myself and buried my sorrow in food and depression. Food- always my comfort in the moment and yet my worst enemy all wrapped up in one. Even though the more I ate, the heavier I got, the more depressed I became. It was just one more hatch I could put on my board of things I couldn’t control in my life. I had absolutely no control over my desire to eat and appetite and ate more than I needed and always felt like crap afterwards….literally and figuratively. The birth of my son was the BEST day of my…or shall I say of OUR lives. After having lost so much…and then finally having him, it was like the world started new again. It took me about 4 years of having him to really put into perspective that I have one shot at this life…..one shot to live it and be healthy and raise a healthy happy child. One day a light switched on in January after talking to my best friend Jacqui and I said to myself I will no longer live the way I’ve been living. I don’t want to be tired anymore..I don’t want to be sluggish…I want to be able to play with my son and not get tired. I don’t want to keep carrying around these extra 100 lbs. I can’t function this way……I’m not living I was surviving….getting out of bed every day was just a chore…I was fucking miserable. I like to refer to the old me as a slug. Both chief and I actually….we were very inactive and ate crappy…. To this day after making the best decision ever with Isagenix….we are both on our way to health. We have both lost over 30 lbs and feel the best we ever have in all our lives. There isn’t one single regret I have about my decision to start this program. It is the best lifestyle change we could have made for ourselves. I even got through Easter with no desire to eat any of the normal crap and candy I would have in the past. I had a completely guilt free day. It was awesome. Every other year I would consider it a “cheat” day and would gorge myself til I felt ill. I didn’t even crave the foods rich foods that were all over the buffet table.….not even anything from Igor’s basket. I literally was happy and completely content eating my veggies and hummus for appetizer and for dinner I ate a piece of veggie lasagna and a big salad and could hardly finish it. I had a small plate of dessert…fresh fruit and a small piece of chocolate cake…. Felt awesome not feeling like shit when I woke up this morning too from overeating yesterday………SINCE I DIDN’T OVEREAT!<br /> So back to my son…. having my son not only completed our lives ………..he has saved my life. I look at him and know that he’s the reason I’m still here…he’s the reason I’m making such huge changes….My old lifestyle was a recipe for complete disaster……So I plan on sticking around to bug his ass when he’s older… He can push me around Target in my wheelchair just like I pushed his butt around in the carts for so long!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-67215225694001887952013-03-18T17:30:00.001-07:002013-03-18T17:34:41.576-07:00The Great Girdle Hurdle<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So there have been times in my life (quite a few actually)
where I had to dress up for an occasion….Be it a wedding, a party, a shower,
even a funeral. Pretty much all of
these occasions called for being somewhat dressy…..and even to the point where
GASP! I wore a dress! Those who know me
and those who have read past blogs know that I do NOT like wearing dresses…..
and not because I’m tom boyish in any way, I just don’t feel comfortable in
them. I don’t like my legs, I feel like
I look like I have a potato sack on. So
on this one occasion……….I was at a dinner party. To be more specific it was my work dinner
party just this past December. Now for
some of you plus sized women like myself we like to tuck in the extra stuff we
have to smooth out our appearance. ( I did
not want to look like a Shar Pei at my work dinner with wrinkled fat rolls
hanging over bra straps under my dress etc.)
I don’t think I’m alone on this or the girdle industry wouldn’t be as
big (no pun intended) as it is. So
knowing I was braving a dress this year, and not wanting to feel like a Vienna sausage
stuffed in those mini tin cans they come in, I decided now is the time to spend
a little money on a good girdle!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t love the idea of wearing one because
I figured they had to be clingy in order to work and I would just sweat more
than I already do. But alas I wasn’t about to show up in a dress without
SOMETHING helping me out. So off I went
to the store. I knew what I had in mind
so I went with a goal of getting in and getting out, not making eye contact,
just full steam ahead to the granny panty section, make my selection and leave
without making casual conversation with the cute 20 year old boy behind the
register. (One time I went to buy
underwear and I was buying the high waist, beige, don’t be caught dead in front
of your husband, that time of the month, kind…… and low and behold who checked
me out? Some hottie with sparkling blue eyes and a killer smile. MOR-TI-FY-ING
(That’s another story, equally as embarrassing, but for another time). So back to my in and out get the girdle and
be gone…… So unbeknownst to me, there are A LOT of different types of fat
tucking, gut sucking girdles out there!
There are the leg and waist ones only, the ones that are like a skirt
that go from the mid thigh to your rib cage.
The kind that go way way way up to your boobies and to your knees (or in
my case just way up to your boobies, cuz they aren’t that “way way” up there
anymore after being pregnant and
breastfeeding). And then there’s the Mecca
of all girdles……….the full body suit girdle………….Here was my answer….. suck it ALL in all at one time- don’t have to
worry about the thigh’s rubbing together OR the stomach bulging out OR the back
fat showing through!! Anyway, so I’m
scouring the selections and now I’m getting super confused………..What SIZE am
I? Do I get just the extra large or do I
go for the 1X because I don’t want to NOT be able to breathe???? Oh shit! More choices! I’m not good with choices…….. So since I didn’t
feel like even attempting to try that sucker on ( do people even do that with girdles?
Try them on in a store??) I grabbed that
lovely nude shade of material and waltzed my ass up to the counter…paid and
left.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I got
home I was a wee bit nervous about trying this thing on. I mean I’ve worn spanx before but just the
ones that help tuck the tummy part. This
was a WHOLE different animal! I laid it
on the bed…it was fleshy and shiny looking…..very soft…. And I thought this is
gonna feel pretty nice, what can possibly go wrong! I tried it on, it fit fine…I stuffed it in
the drawer so Chief wouldn’t see it when he got home. That’s the last thing I wanted him to see me
in. Bad enough him having to see the
bright pink bra’s with the extra extenders on the backs in ugly beige
colors. This was entirely too much to
share with the man I’ve been with for 13 years.
NO way NO how was I even going let him know I was gonna wear that thing
under my dress to make myself look better.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the night
of the party came,….I got dressed,…I was feeling decent. The girdle was doing it’s job. I had my underwear, then the panty hose, then
the girdle, then a nice black wrap dress….it was cold as hell out, so I was
grateful for the layers. That was until
half way through the evening when I had to pee.
Not thinking anything of it I go into the stall and go to pull down my
pantyhose and underwear and realize my fucking girdle goes all the way up my
back, over my chest, has arm holes and arm straps…………..and no crotch…………….not
even a peeper hole to pull to the side to pee out of!!!!!!! Oh my God, Oh my
God! You have got to be kidding me??????? Who the fuck designed this piece of shit????
So guess what I had to do JUST so I could pee?
I had to get UNDRESSED!!!!!! In the stall……..that’s right! Everything
had to come off just so I could pee! Why
oh why did I drink that second glass of wine?????? Oh and the 3 glasses of
water……….. All the while a bunch of my co workers were in and out of the
bathroom…probably wondering “what is taking her so long…..did she eat the crab
cakes and they didn’t agree with her?”
No, no….I just bought the universe’s worst girdle ever made and now I’m naked in
the stall except for my bra and my jewelry just so I can take a piss…that’s all
ladies….don’t mind the asshole in the bathroom for ten minutes, carry on…..carry
on………go back out to the party and don’t mind me! I’ll just be another 10 minutes getting
RE-dressed for a party I already came dressed to! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So
needless to say……..the moral of tonight’s story is this………… girdles suck ass……..(literally
and figuratively) and I cannot wait til the day comes when I am at my goal
weight and no longer have to worry about wearing one! Oh and also…if you are gonna buy a girdle sure
as shit make sure there’s a pee hole in that puppy!!!!!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-39097206467377513252013-03-13T16:56:00.000-07:002013-03-13T16:56:15.724-07:00Food Fright!!!!!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
FOOD FRIGHT!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes that’s right, you didn't read that wrong. I said FRIGHT, not fight. You got excited for a minute there, got a
feeling you could relive those high school days in the cafeteria slinging “just
add water” mashed potatoes at your friends, didn't you? Sorry that’s just not this type of blog
today. Today’s blog is brought to you by
the words “what” and “the fuck”……….. Meaning, what the fuck have we been
putting in our mouths for all these years????
The last entry I mentioned about watching documentaries such as “Food,
Inc.”, “The Future of Food” and one that my friend recommended “Food Matters”. You can remain ignorant and turn your head
like I had for so many years as to what is going on out there in our country
with food, or you can open your eyes and do some research. I can guarantee you won’t look at food the
same way. Or ignore it and keep turning
an ignorant eye to it…totally up to you.
I chose the first option and super glad I did.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of you may be thinking “who does this chick think she
is? When did she all of a sudden become
the health nut?” Let me enlighten you…I
am someone who went from putting complete crap in my family’s and my own mouths
every day, to someone who woke up and decided to make a change….and a HUGE
change at that. I’m not just talking
about the Bon Bon’s and Twinkies we as a society have eaten over the years, (total
culprit of that, times like a billion). I
am referring to things like our fruits, vegetables, meats, and grains. Even the stuff you THINK is good for you
these days??? Take another look… do some
reading…watch a few YouTube videos here and there…...This is some scary
shit. I, being the normal consumer for
the last 34 years, never even thought about it…that is until I started putting
the RIGHT stuff in my body. I went from
someone who had terrible stomach issues all the time, a migraine countless days
of the month, acid reflux up the WAZOO and zero energy (even when I was thin),
the girl who could take a nap 30 minutes after I woke. I never even got good nights sleep…most times
I would take a Benadryl or even Nyquil to just sleep through the night……. My
body was literally rotting from the inside out.
(Imagine that nasty ass visual people, but in so many ways it was true! And if you are eating that same food off the
shelves of a regular grocery store, yours are too) I would take medication after medication for
years. Doctor after doctor trying to
figure out the constant stomach troubles and the migraines……their answer? MEDICATION…………lots and lots and LOTS of
mediation. Over the years if I added up
all the freaking meds I was putting in my body, and you could look through my
skin at my insides (ok that is so disturbing sounding, right? But just follow
my lead here, try to get a visual) I’d
look like one of those big ass gumball machine’s you see….All sizes, all
colors, all CRAP! None of it worked and most of it made things worse! And the most terrible part of it is that
sometimes the side effects were worse than the initial issue….So what is that
telling us??? How is something that is
supposed to help me, making things worse for me? Medicine wasn't curing any of my problems, it
maybe, and I use that word sooo loosely, it would MAYBE help in the “moment”
but never ever in the long run to rid me of my many ailments. As of January 31<sup>st</sup> 2013, I have
not had to put one pill in my mouth to get rid of any kind of issue. What happened on January 31<sup>st</sup>? I
started the Isagenix program and it literally has changed my life. Not just the thirty pounds I've lost so far
but how I feel. It is amazing how when
you are eating the pure organic nutrition your body responds to it. This is some exciting shit! And the amazing part behind it is it is SO
simple…it’s like DUH! That food I was
putting in my body before was poisoning me, literally. It was poisoning my family too. It was causing a plethora of health
issues. I finally stood up and took
charge and was like “uh uh, no more!” (There was totally a hair flip and two snaps
in a circle when I said that…..and even a little head roll as I just typed it). I felt what it was like to finally put the
right stuff in, and in turn get the right stuff out. By that I mean all this amazing real
energy. And sleep, oh my God the sleep
is literally dreamy!!!!! (That and Chief
is also sleeping through the night, no more tossing and turning or snoring!!!!
I don’t want to kill him anymore!!! Yay!! This is actually a win, win for both
of us as you can imagine.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So back to that part about all this energy. As I told my friends I’ve met along this
journey, the other night my ass was on
the treadmill (working out is totally optional, you don’t have to for Isagenix
to work) but I had (and always have) so much energy I was literally dancing to
the music on Pandora as I was jogging. (I’m
multi talented……….don’t be jealous.) The
first song that popped on to my iPhone was” Eye of the Tiger”…( I was totally
Rocky Balboa-ing that shit, jogging and boxing the air, thankful that Chief was
at a meeting so he couldn’t see me looking like a complete dufus, looking more
like I was having a seizure than getting a work out, but who cares right? NOT
ME!!!! ) That feeling that I am accomplishing something awesome totally got me
even MORE pumped to go that extra mile.
Literally instead of my normal 3 mile’s I did four instead. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I impress myself every day with how far I’ve come in so
little time. My journey continues every
day and not just the pounds that have come off, I mean more like the habits
that have changed, and with little effort at all. That is why this product is so amazing..There’s
nothing else out there like it. To be
able to have this organic nutrition, eat it for free, AND make extra money to
use however I want????? My food “fright” is not so frightening after all
anymore!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-79042901401055916492013-03-10T13:58:00.001-07:002013-03-10T13:58:12.524-07:00STRAP ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND LET’S DO THIS! (Dedicated to Danielle, wink wink)<br />
<br />
<br />
If there was a catchy way to say this for men AND women I would have titled it that way but since men don’t wear panties (well some do, but that’s neither here nor there), I had to change my verbiage to sound catchy. OK, so here’s the damn deal people…if you want results you can’t half ass shit. Seriously if you want to make a change it’s all or nothing. Sure one little step at a time works too……but you are dragging that crap out. Get serious and get in the damn game. It’s time for a reality check. I had my reality check in the beginning of January when I started having heart palpitations and went to the hospital. I was terrified and the entire time in my head I knew a lot of what I was experiencing was because I was about 100 plus pounds overweight and leading an unhealthy life style. Compound that shit with stress? You are looking at a whole melting pot that could have potentially turned into one huge ass disaster. I should be clearer on this…before all this stuff happened in January I already knew Chief and I were prime candidates for possibly heart disease, diabetes and God knows what else! I knew the way Chief and I were living was risky. We would eat crappy food more than not, and do take out 2-3 times a week. What the fuck was I teaching my 4 year old Igor???? ( For new readers who haven't read past entries, Igor is my "stage" name for my son). I knew something needed to either change or one or both of us were going to end up with some major medical issue at a young age. Thank God my friend Jacqui (love that girl more than anything) convinced me to try the Isagenix.<br />
I feel the need to explain a little more of what is going on with this program and how and why it works. Partly because being educated on it is important and partly because I’m tired of some of my friends looking at me like I have 3 heads when I talk about it. Of the three different plans they have, Healthy Aging, Athletic Performance and Weight Loss, clearly the weight loss package was the one for the hubster and me. Since Chief also needed to lose weight we started it together. We follow the plan as close as possible and have seen amazing, amazing results and feel wonderful on top of it. Not everyone who starts this has a ton of weight to lose. I think that is where there is some confusion. The idea behind it is to give yourself pure good 100% organic nutrition as opposed to what you were putting in your body before. It’s a cellular cleanse people…and half-assing it or getting down on yourself if you didn’t drop 10 pounds the first week is just silliness. Rome wasn’t built in a damn day! You have to get the old crap out and the good stuff in to see results. Also if you don’t have a significant amount to lose like we do, of course it isn’t going to fall off at lightning speed. That is where I need to explain more… This program is about making you feel better…getting pure nutrition in you -the weight loss is a side effect of that. As your cells are being cleaned, the visceral fat is no longer needed to protect your organs from the everyday toxins we have been putting in our bodies, therefore it releases that fat off of our bodies. Sure you can go on eating the same old regular foods you did, even if it’s fruits, veggies, lean meats and low fat stuff, but the problem here is that it still holds tons of toxins, chemicals, anti-biotics, etc if it isn’t organic. So let’s put it this way….if you don’t do the cleaning, you are going to eventually rebound and gain all that weight you lost back because your body is still toxic. And if you are like I was in the past, you will gain an extra 20 lbs on TOP of the that. (Trust me when I tell you this, I used to be the world’s biggest Yo-yo dieter because I never changed WHAT I ate. I just changed the portions of it)……. I NEVER, EVER in a million years would have believed that this was legit until I put it into action. I have also been doing some major research as to WHY it works because that is really important to me...if I’m going to do something I want to know why it is working, I want to know what I was doing wrong before to always get the same shitty ass results-losing and gaining, losing and gaining…rinse and fucking repeat…Never really feeling energized and still always feeling tired and as I like to put it…like a slug.<br />
I have watched and read some really informative stuff on all the toxins in our food and meat these days..It is some SCARY, CRAZY SHIT. I will be honest I used to be one of those people who would make fun of people who ate all organic. ( Like seriously make fun of them….for real) It’s called ignorance and I was a huge culprit of it. Complete ignorance….I turned a blind eye to it because like they say “ignorance is bliss”. Bliss? Really? No ignorance is a fatty on the couch feeling like crap, eating Cheeto’s and brownies. When I started the Isagenix and immediately felt the difference..that is when I began to read up on the how’s and why’s. I wanted and NEEDED to be informed. Do yourselves a favor, whether you are a man or woman, read the book “Skinny Bitch” (Thank you Rosie for buying me that…it’s amazing) and watch these documentaries…”Food, Inc.” and “The Future of Food”. You will never look at what you have been putting in your mouth the same again. These are JUST a few……. But they will scare the crap out of you. There is tons more…but these are some really good ones.<br />
<br />
I don’t want the already slimmer people thinking they are gonna go from 140 lbs in a month down to 110 just because Chief and I lost so much our first 30 days. We are BIG people…we will have bigger, faster weight loss results then say a size 8 person. So here comes the part about strapping on your big girl panties and doing it. (Usually, yes we take off our panties to “do it” but in this case we are putting them on! Get your freak minds out of the gutter people! Sheesh!) Get your butt off the couch and get moving. Sure the pounds of fat have been shedding off of the hubster and me, but we work at it too. We decided to get our fat asses out of the lazy boy’s and start moving….. I can’t stress enough how working out makes you feel EVEN BETTER than just sitting there and letting the program do the work for you. To the people out there who already work out you have half the success plan under your belt…now it’s a matter of getting the right nutrition in your body to clean your dirty, foul, shamefully toxic cells of all that nasty ass stuff. (If my body were a classroom and my cells were the student’s their asses would have been in the principal’s office because they were so freaking bad!)<br />
Chief and I went from very inactive couch potatoes to movers and shakers. We never had the energy before like we do now... I’ve never seen the Chief run……now he runs…..like for 40 minutes at a time. Who is this sexy-ass hot man running on the treadmill in my house?????? Let me at him! This man who used to house an entire pizza by himself before said to me the other day as he tied his running shoes “this is my favorite part of the day, getting on the treadmill”………….whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??? Who are you and what did you do with my husband? At some point in time there has been and abduction of the old Chief and a new one set in his place. I mean don’t get me wrong I am LOVING this side of him…this side of us I should say….. We both work out now all the time, but nothing sexier than a man caring about how he looks and working hard to get to that point. He strapped on his big girl panties, so to speak, on day one and has been putting every effort into becoming super healthy since….and has the weight loss to prove it. People who haven’t seen him in awhile can’t believe what he looks like now. I am so proud of the changes we have both made, but mostly for the changes he has made. He is one stubborn ass man….I must admit I was so worried starting this, that he wouldn’t stick to it but holy shit Chief is a maniac! He never ceases to amaze me. I am so happy to be on this journey with him. <br />
<br />
Let’s now talk about the new people on my team, who have joined up with us to embark on a better life for themselves. I’m giving a shout out to Laura and Greg (you guys are ROCKING THIS SHIT)and getting amazing results, feeling super energized, dropping weight and are only about 2 weeks in and you are finding it so easy to follow. Laura said to me she has not had any coffee since starting or diet soda (she was like me and drank that shit all day long to keep awake). Chantel started just a few days ago. She has suffered for years going doctor to doctor feeling like hell, taking lots of different medications to no avail. No one has been able to figure out what was wrong or help…on her first day in and she posted that she was able to get through her day without a struggle. She did laundry, cleaned her house and played with her daughter. These tasks were normally such a struggle for her. She has also already quit smoking, feels fantastic and lost about 6 lbs. My girl Lindsey, started 3 days ago and said to me today that she hasn’t been able to clean her apartment in so long because she’s felt like crap, and then today she felt so good from starting using the Isagenix that she cleaned her apartment!!! She also mentioned she hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in so long…..guess what people…her ass is sleeping soundly now!!! HELLOOOOOOO can we say this is definitely something that works?! It’s amazing when you put the right stuff in your body the stuff it can do! These results are just some testimonials from the people on my team. I’m not here to shove the system down people’s throats. ….I’m here to tell you MY results so far and the results of the people I have shared the program with. If you are interested in trying the plan, you know where to find me….. I’m so excited for my very good friend Eric to start his 30 day cleanse tomorrow. I know he is going to feel amazing and it’s gonna benefit him beyond belief. <br />
So in closing, I know this was a very long entry. I also know I needed to write it to explain about my journey, my husband’s journey and what YOUR journey can look like if you choose to take it. Thank you to all my supporters out there...I'll catch up again soon....next time with a funny entry....for now I gotta go strap on those running shoes my friends, the treadmill is calling my name!<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-21822394855780241182013-03-05T16:35:00.003-08:002013-03-05T16:35:40.557-08:00Victoria's Secret Ain't No Damn Secret At All<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who IS this “Victoria” anyway? Some skinny ass bitch no doubt….(Normally
this would be a term of endearment for me…in this case she’s just a
bitch). Here’s her damn secret………She don’t
carry SHIT in your size unless you’re the size “I weigh one”. Do you want to know what the size “I weigh
one “is? It’s the size of my big
toe. If there was ever a place to make
me feel even worse about myself it’s Victoria’s Secret. The only time I get to shop in that store is
when I go in for their buy 3 get 2 lotion deal thingy’s and the ONLY reason I
think they started that shit is so plus sized women like me could at least walk
in there and walk out with one of their cute little pink on pink striped bags. ( I have to admit, I do feel a little pep in
my step when I walk around carrying their bag at the mall) Ok I’m exaggerating just slightly here…In the
past I have bought stuff there. Like the
waaaay past….except I’ve bought a bra here and there in the last year or
so. The problem though is I always end
up at the fabric store afterwards, getting those damn bra extenders! You know those ugly ass 4 latchy
thing-a-ma-hoodgies that you add to the clasp of the bra’s to make them fit fat
backs? Yea story of my life for quite some time now. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing is sexier
or classier than a $60.00 pink leopard
push up bra with a white or sometimes
black, or maybe even beige (nothing sexy about beige people, I don’t care what
you look like) bra extender attached to the back. I’m sure Chief agrees with that 100%. Kinda like when I haven’t shaved my legs for
a few days and he says “I don’t mind” as he’s giving one of his stellar foot and
calf massages….kinda like that….where I just know he’s lying through his God damn teeth, but just too sweet to admit it. I would go as far to say it’s about as sexy
as that chafage I sported that time after my 8 mile walk for March of Dimes.
(My inner thighs just stung from retyping that shit)… Ok well maybe not THAT bad. I don’t think in the history of our 13 years
together anything else has looked THAT bad.
Anyway, that is what I always end up needing when I buy a bra from good
ol’ VS. I DO love their overpriced stuff
though. ( And why is it the less material there is, the more expensive that
shit is? Who decided on that shit???) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I like even
more is the large ass pictures of the perfectly air brushed skinny bitches
plastered all over the store, sporting their boobsuptohere in each one. I mean maybe call it jealousy, call it envy,
sure as shit you’re right…I’m not gonna deny it….but those women are like a
small 2% of the population right? I don’t
know about that percentage, I could
totally be pulling that number out of my ass…I like to make things up like that
so I sound intelligent and like I know what I’m talking about. If you don’t know me very well, there’s a
good chance you believe me. If you do,
then let’s pretend that number is correct.
Anyway so 2% of the population looks like these VS models, maybe 1% even
have glittery flowing angel wings attached, I’m sure as shit not positive on
THAT statement but that would be totally kick ass if it were true. Anyway, so I’m like the other 98% of the
female race. Ok well again, that is NOT
true…I’m like one in a million really. Those
of you again, who know me, you’re truly blessed and very welcome. Those
of you who don’t, get your asses in gear
and drop me a line, add me as a friend, ask me anything you want. As you can tell by my previous blogs about
thigh chafage, swamp ass and bleeding nipples my life is an open book….Chief
may think a little “too open” but what
does he know? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok back to the over the shoulder boulder holders. Yea, I can’t really shop at VS and walk out a
happy camper. (Sometimes like I said
previously, I get to purchase 5 lotions
and body sprays for the price of 3, but that really isn’t the same kind of “happy
time”….that is more like just “ok time”.
My goal when I reach my target
weight and body shape is NOT to become that 2%....it’s to still stay just the
same person, just a lot slimmer, a little more kick ass ( if that is even a possibility),
a lot more confident, maybe some boobies uptohere, and of course no more beige
bra extenders! I’m just on the cusp of
losing 30 pounds in about 33 days. I still have a journey ahead of me but I am
actually looking forward to each day as it goes by. My life is changing for the better from
Isagenix. As my friend Laura and I say,
by summer we are gonna be some skinny ass sexy bitches. Look out Victoria, I see a shopping spree in the
works!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-4174456059470445022013-02-23T13:30:00.004-08:002013-02-23T13:30:48.866-08:00The Fear of “Fitting” In<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t
necessarily mean “fitting in” where people like you, don’t like you or you are
popular or not etc. I’m awesome,…of
COURSE people like me AND I’m popular .
I don’t even need to remind you all to laugh here, you already are! Really
though, this entry is about “fitting” into things like rides at amusement
parks, airplane seats, tight quarters where there are lots of people stuffed
together such as elevators. I have had
this long living fear that I will go to either sit somewhere, get on a ride,
try to squeeze in a spot and not be able to fit….that or worse, get STUCK! I remember a few years back I was at one of
my heaviest weights and I was at Six Flags Great Adventure with some
friends. Everyone wanted to go on the
Runaway Train. The entire day I spent
not only sweating in the heat of summer but also dreading getting to the front
of each line to see the size of the seats on each roller coaster. I have always been a roller coaster junkie………..so
for me this was very hard…..I’ve even had times when I would lie and say I wasn’t
feeling well etc, just to avoid getting up to the ride and realizing I would
have to squeeze my fat butt into a spot and be embarrassed and uncomfortable the
whole ride. Ok see I’ve gotten off “track”
already, as I was talking about the Runaway Train ride………..I know I’m
hilarious, right? Ok so the train ride….waited
in line forever…. Got to the front of the line and Chief and I tried to wedge
ourselves together into the same car next to each other. What the fuck were we thinking? It was
impossible! The attendant made me get up
and move back a spot to sit with this skinny ass teenage boy. How freaking embarrassing! Right in front of our friends too! Just
this past summer alone we were in Wildwood and hubster and I decided we wanted
to do the roller coaster that goes forwards then backwards……. We got in next to
each other and it was the absolute most uncomfortable thing ever. I think I spent the entire ride in pain
because my hips were digging into the lap bar.
And let’s not forget about the bar that goes over your head….the attendant
went to push it down and couldn’t push it down far enough so he had to leave it
on a looser setting, and the entire time I was panicking that I was going to
fall out of the rollercoaster seat in the upside down loop de loops and die a
splattery, fat mess! I’m actually still
here, so for all of you who panicked for me when just reading that last line or
two…no worries peeps,…here I am!!!! The
saddest part of all of this is the things I have been missing out on with my 4
year old Igor. All the fairs and
amusement parks we have been to and I’ve been to big to even want to try to go
on the rides he begs me to go on with him. It has been very depressing to say
the least since I will never ever get these years back with him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So in walked Isagenix
into my life and is changing it for the better and forever. Not just for me but
for Chief too. We were living an extremely
unhealthy lifestyle before. Always
tired, lazy, ate crappy food, etc. Twenty-two pounds in 23 days later…this fat
butt is getting smaller every day! ..By summer time this gal is getting on
those little race car ride thingy’s with Igor and I’m gonna tear ass around the
track with him, finally able to enjoy his childhood <i>with</i> him and no longer sitting on the side lines eating a
cheeseburger ! I feel like a <i>gagillion</i> bucks………that’s right…that’s waaaaaaaaay better than a
million people! I’m building my team of rock
stars joining in the crusade to becoming healthy and each of them are gonna
rock it just like Chief and I are. They
may not be hilariously funny like me but none the less they are killin it!!!! So today’s moral……….today is your day to
change your life…not tomorrow..no more excuses.
As one of my Isa-buddies posted on her wall the other day….something
along the lines of “it’s time to write your own story. Stop giving someone else the pen!” Before I was living to eat…now I’m eating to
live…and feeling better than I ever have in my entire life. For once I feel like I’m in control of my own
story!!!!!!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-77329484291992810122013-02-20T18:53:00.001-08:002013-02-20T18:53:16.631-08:00THE GREAT SPORTS BRA SNAFU...AND THE SWAMP ASS TRAGEDY <br />
I am one of those people who laugh when they see someone fall. Sure, once I get my laugh out I will rush over to help them...but none the less I cannot, absolutely cannot help myself from laughing first. Call me an asshole if you want, you know you do it to! Except if you witness me fall or even trip...you better not be laughing...except if it's <i>with</i> me, because I laugh even when I fall....sometimes I trip over flat surfaces...that's just how good I really am. It's not always a plant on your ass fall on your face kind of deal.....more of a trip...turn my walk into a little jog and pretend I meant to do that type of deal. If you have ever seen Ellen's comedy show you all know exactly what I'm talking about. Where you trip...turn your walk into a quick jog and look back pretending you tripped on something. Totally happens to me all the time....and of course always in public. However...this post is not about tripping. This post is about bleeding nipples (that would make a cool name for a band!) and swamp ass. Yep! You read that right. <br />
Let's all now discuss the importance of a good fitting sports bra. I have never been well endowed so to speak. I think even at my heaviest I was only ever a C cup. The twins are no longer firm and perky like they were in my hay-day before children. Now they are more like saggy balloons filled with sand. All you ladies out there, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The problem is, not only are they no longer firm, from all the fluctuating of weight from failed diets, and breastfeeding etc, these bitches have stretch marks on em too! (Good thing I keep the lights off when Chief and I are going down to funky town). However he loves me so much he doesn't even care. It's me with the issues on the twins. Okay so back to the sports bra issue. Ladies, (and any gents that have man boobs and may be seeking advice on support for them during a workout) PLEASE PLEASE make sure you get a sports bra that "fits" correctly. Also, don't buy a cheap one. Here is my reasoning. I had gone to Walmart and bought a cheap ass sports bra...at the time not really thinking much on quality of it since I don't have much to support, so I went for the cheapy $8.00 one and because I was being cheap, I got it in a size to big. Big fucking mistake on my part.... I put it on...all felt <i>okay </i>so I went to the gym (this was not any time recently, this was during one of my yo-yo diets) anyway, first day not to bad....I could tell that the bra was a tad big, and I was a bit sore after my venture on the treadmill but nothing terrible....day two.....it was a little worse, but it was either I wore this shitty sports bra or I went booby commando.........In my own house this is acceptable....in a gym where there are fabulous looking men and women who sweat dew drops? No thanks! And I was too cheap and lazy to go back to the store to get another better fitting, better quality one. So the third day in a row at the gym I was killing myself on the treadmill........and as I'm jogging, my boobs started to <i>really</i> hurt.... remember my story prior to this one about the thigh chafage? Well this shit can happen to tits too! Let's combine small tits, too big of a cheap ass sports bra, some sweat and lots of jiggly movement. What do we get? We get sore ass bloody nipples! You guessed it friends, I couldn't take the pain anymore so I hopped off the treadmill and went to the locker room. Got into the bathroom stall, lifted my shirt and my girls were bleeding! Do you see what happens when this chic tries to work out and do something good for herself? So yea... the next few days I had to wear baggy t-shirts and slather neosporin on my upper lady bits til that shit healed. <br />
I know I said this blog was also about swamp ass... and here I am not failing to fill you in on all my trials and tribulations on all my past experiences with weight loss and exercise escapades. When I finally felt ok enough and my nips were healed up nicely and my ass stopped being so cheap and bought a decent maidenform sports bra, I headed back to the gym. This time I headed there in dark gray yoga pants...........and got on the treadmill. Now....you know when you sweat in the summer time....especially if it's so ungodly hot...you have been sitting forever and you get up and you just know you have crack sweat....well here I am feeling proud of myself that I got my ass back to the gym, yet that very same ass I was just so proud of was now producing sweat! Now I remember why I always wore black pants to the fucking gym. I am feeling the sweat dripping down my crack ...Please oh please don't let it be showing through is all I kept thinking.......... I allowed myself 5 more minutes on the treadmill as to make make it seem obvious that something was wrong before I hopped off and waltzed my ass back to the locker room again. Holy shit it looked like my butt peed my pants! So now all I'm thinking is I have to walk BACK out of this damn place with no sweatshirt to wrap around my waist or anything. I guess if I were a size 4 at the time I maybe wouldn't care that my butt was sweating because hell you're a size 4 and look good, who cares if your butt pees..............but I was about 260 lbs and soooo terribly embarrassed. I quickly made my way out of the gym into my car. It wasn't long after that that Chief bought me my own treadmill. Moral of today's story my faithful readers : Bleeding nipples is not just a good name for a rock band it can really happen if you aren't careful with your tits and sports bra selections............and our butts REALLY CAN pee! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-42074877968057952492013-02-19T17:19:00.002-08:002013-02-19T17:19:22.366-08:00You Can Lead a Horse to Water…….<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> Okay, I am not referring to myself as a horse………a cow
sometimes in the past…maybe even a whale, but not a horse. (Remember folks, this was my old mind set!). My new mindset is I’m a bad-ass treadmill <i>Goddess</i>! (Insert belly laugh here). What am I saying? You are already laughing without my even
having to tell you to! Okay, so back to leading a horse to water. I have never….and when I say never I mean
never, ever ever, liked water. <i>My</i>
water came in the form of iced tea or coffee with Sweet and Low or Splenda or Equal,
or diet soda, or even chocolate milk. (Yes
I’m aware…..milk is milk not water….now hush up and keep reading!) I hated water unless I was so famished and
there was nothing else to drink. Diet
Dr. Pepper was my “go to” drink for meals…if that wasn’t available it was any other
diet soda…… that or iced tea with about 3 packet’s of Splenda (calorie free
right? This can’t hurt me!) I used to use
artificial sweeteners ALL the time, I mean all the time, even when I would bake….
as if it wasn’t harmful to me. I know
now how wrong I am. After starting
Isagenix and no longer craving the sugar or needing that diet soda I decided to
do some research……….here are some of the “ingredients” in artificial sweeteners:
<span style="background: white;">Erythritol</span>, Hydrogenated starch, hydrolysate</span>, Isomalt, Lactitol,
Maltitol, Mannitol ..Just among a few… half of them I can hardly pronounce
(would love to see those smart ass kids in those national spelling bee’s spell
some of that shit and still win!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So really, what the <i>fuck </i>have I been ingesting and poisoning my body with ALL these
years! Oh my god…..it’s true how they
say ignorance is bliss. Ignorance and
denial, really. In the back of my head I
always knew it wasn’t great for me, but I was desperate to cut calories
whenever possible, so I didn’t care enough about myself to stop using it. I can gladly say as of today, day 20 on
Isagenix…the only beverage I have consumed has been water……I even add some
essential oils to it to liven it up a bit.
I use the Young Living ones…in the citrus flavors. Orange is my favorite, followed by grapefruit
oil. Three drops and my water is now my
new best friend. I can’t even imagine
drinking all that other crap again. Not
only for the fact of all the chemicals I was ingesting but because the Isagenix
has turned a switch on in my brain that causes me to not even want the sugary
tastes anymore. Awesome, awesome
feeling! I know I drink more than my 6-8 recommended glasses a
day of purified water…I usually have about 2-3 every 2 hours from 6 am to 8 pm…..and
I’ve never felt better. No guilt,…no poisoning
my body with chemicals, no wondering if I will grow a third arm or leg in the
future…or worse, a fourth nipple…..wait……. isn’t three the standard? Oh………….er………..well anyway… this is just another
new “habit” I have taken on since starting the Isagenix and I will never go
back! So here’s my PSA to all my
faithful readers………….DRINK YOUR WATER PEEPS!
Bottoms Up!!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-39504903752514065392013-02-18T19:31:00.000-08:002013-02-18T19:31:02.969-08:00Self Admitted Scale Whore<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> I
hate to weigh myself. Ok, actually let me rephrase
that…I hate to weigh myself when I know I’m eating like shit and I can feel the
pounds creeping on…when I just <i>know</i> I’m gaining weight. Then the minute I start losing
weight look the fuck out my ass is on that scale every day....I strip on down in the morning, use the bathroom and hop on the scale (not necessarily in that order) I don't generally sit on the toilet naked...........too much skin exposed and the bathroom light really doesn't do my olive tone JUSTICE. Anyway, there have been days when my ass was on that scale 2-3 times maybe even more. I remember many-a-times in my past when I would down laxatives and make my way to the scale over and over and over throughout the day to see if it changed...even if it was .2 lbs...shit people it's a decimal point of a fucking pound and in my brain THAT is what mattered...it was still a <i>loss</i> for me. Victory. Victory that came at a price. Not only was I doing some major, major damage to my insides with laxatives or even when I would vomit up what I ate, but psychologically the amount of damage I was putting on myself was unbearable. In my head I knew what I was doing was completely wrong, but when you are at your lowest of lows, it didn't matter....the only thing that mattered was the number on the scale. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;"> I am trying very hard to work on this. I got the other parts under control. No more bulimic episodes, no more starving myself, no more laxatives, etc. I still have that devil that sits on my shoulder that says "you're fat", "you're not worth it", and a plethora of other awful things. Most days I'm able to flick her off my shoulder and stomp her away........other days the pain of my (even recent) past and eating habits haunt me. I know this is a journey...not a quick fix. Every day I'm learning more about my strength and the right way to do things. Every day I try to look in that mirror and say one nice thing about myself. This is not an easy task when for a good part of 34 years I've been telling myself the opposite. People who see me on the outside would <i>never</i> guess my inner struggles...my extreme self consciousness or how I've let my terrible views of myself run my life. Ever since I can remember people perceive me as this super happy girl, always smiling, or comment on how I can command a room with my presence (in a good way of course). However I have always been the first person to also make fun of myself or make a fat joke about myself....the reason for this is because if I did it first, I beat everyone else to it. (The saddest part about it is they were probably never going to make any fat jokes at all, but in my head I had to beat them to it!)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;"> People see me and see a big bright smile...when most of the time I would be crying inside. Trying to escape the feeling like I was never good enough. I'm learning every single day how to love myself. The beauty of the Isagenix is that it helps so much with that. Before I started on the lifestyle change I would always be tired and dragging my ass through each day.....kinda like I was just "existing" each moment. This caused a lot of depression. With all of this new found energy I'm like a new person. Mentally and quite quickly, physically as well. The physical part will get there. I know it takes time. I know there are no real quick fixes......and that was always my mistake in the past. I wanted instant results, and if I didn't get them I would punish myself for it. Not anymore. I found a life changing product that I know works,...I know it makes me feel amazing and I'm seeing results all at the same time. I'm working every day on not getting on the scale. Lately it's a lower number each time. 19.4 lbs in 19 days..........but who's counting right?? </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-77415319697299585072013-02-16T06:53:00.001-08:002013-02-16T06:53:17.400-08:00Cute Shoes! Fat Feet...............<br />
<br />
Let me start this entry off by telling you all how much I love shoes. I<i> love </i>me some shoes....I love boots, I love espadrilles, I love sandals, I love slip on's, I love flip flops, I love wedges.....the list goes on. My entire life I've been plagued with wide width feet...poor Igor has been passed down that wonderful gene from me. Igor is my son's "stage" name for the blog to protect his identity from my recent found fame from this blog. (Pay attention people! We've been through this many times!) Good thing he's a boy and who cares if boys have wide feet. Anyway....I have always had to buy the "wide width" shoes....... Normally this means I shop at Payless for my shoes...which don't get me wrong, they have some cute things.... If you are a size 6, 7, 8, even a 9...when you are a 10 sometimes an 11 (thank you for that Igor, as my feet grew when you were in utero) the shoes become SLIM pickin's. Like <i>really</i> slim... to the point where I usually can't even take advantage of the fucking BOGO deals they run like once a month. I mean who doesn't want to get one pair of shoes, then another for equal or lesser value at half the damn price? This chick <i>does....</i>yet I rarely get to partake in those events because the selection is so small. <br />
I have cursed my feet for as long as I can remember. ( I can thank my dad for them, even though his feet are not big, they are wide...my mom has those cute size 7's, as well as my sisters...they can wear any shoes they want!......bitches). Come summer time when all the girls are wearing cute sandals and wedges...I'm stuck in flip flops....Like literally all summer..... I often refer to them as Fred Flintstone feet...you know what I'm talking about...short fat toes...yep...Try going into a department store or even the wide width section of DSW.........pfffffffffffffft I think their wide width is either a lie OR my feet are really just that fat! Here's a little diddy of a story from this past December...I was brave enough to buy a black knee length wrap dress for my annual work Christmas party....if you know me, the <i>only</i> times I've worn any kind of dresses in the last 15 years were my wedding and my sister-in-laws wedding...oh and another wedding I attended about 2 years ago when I lost like 30 lbs....(of course I gained that shit right back plus another 20) ..so <i>my</i> ass was REALLY throwing caution into the wind to brave getting one for this event. What does a gal need to go with a nice dress? Some kick ass foot apparel. My first trip was to Payless, as usual.......now, if I wanted ugly ass faux suede with gray squirrel looking hair hanging out the top and some ugly ass pom-poms hanging from them...well then THAT was the store to spend my money......however I didn't want to look like an Eskimo, I wanted to look nice. Next trip....DSW........ my friends are all "they have wide width there".......I was gonna give it a shot one more time..maybe they'd changed their "sizing"....from <i>their</i> version of wide width to<i> Tracey's </i>version of wide width.<br />
I wanted desperately to find me a pair of cute zip up black boots, you know those really nice knee high ones....(no, not the slutty thigh high ones, Jesus, what kind of girl do you think I am!). I must have tried on 20 fucking pairs of boots, half of them my fat ass feet wouldn't even begin to squeeze in......the other half if I did manage to get my foot in, my calves are so damn wide I couldn't zip them more that 1/3 the way up! Frustrated wasn't even the word to describe how I was feeling. Sweaty would be a good one....do you know how hard it is to balance on one foot while trying to pry off a boot that has become stuck because you tried desperately to wedge your foot in it praying "it may fit, if I just <i>shove</i> a bit harder". <i>That </i>my faithful readers is about the time when I started to sweat. So now I'm sweating, ( why the fuck did I wear a sweater in December when it's 30 degrees out???? I should have been pro-active and worn a tank top, knowing I was going in for such a challenge) Okay so back to me sweating...I'm sweating....and my foot is stuck in a boot.... the zipper is stuck on a thread and NOT budging.........So I'm sweating, my foot is sweating and starting to get the circulation cut off....and I'm standing in the back of the store trying to hide behind the clearance shoe racks so no one sees me making a fool of myself. Every time a customer walked back and was near me...I would stop acting like I was struggling and pretend I was modeling my foot in those floor mirrors they have. (mind you, the entire calf part that zips up except 1/3 of it is hanging down....I'm sure I fooled no one who happened to see me). FINALLY the zipper releases (breaks)....tomato, toMAto, after an hour (no not really an hour..it was probably a little less than 5 minutes....but it seemed like an eternity) and my fat ass foot was free! So not only did I break a pair of boots and shove them back in the box and exit my ass right out of that store, I never found a pair of wide width black knee high boots at DSW. I left the store and sat in my car crying because I was so upset and frustrated that I'd let myself get this heavy that I couldn't even find a pair of freaking boots that fit. I finally broke down and ordered them online. The ones that came were not too bad..I still struggled a bit to zip them over my calves...had to stretch the shit out of them to get them to fit. This was back in December. Today I tried them on.... I was actually able to zip those puppies up without a problem. There was even some room for my finger! 16 days down 16.5 lbs gone....13.25 inches...gone.... loving the Isagenix.<br />
Moral of the story.......... having fat, wide feet sucks.....And DSW <i>may</i> or <i>may not</i> have signs up with my picture on it saying "DO NOT let this woman back in this store" I'm not sure...........................<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-73444111092321882632013-02-16T06:04:00.003-08:002013-02-16T06:04:45.296-08:00Cupid's Arrow Got Stuck in a Fat Roll ( An Homage to the Hallmark Holiday)<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Well, another Valentine’s Day has come and gone….. Chief and I have never really been ones to make a big Hoorah about the day. We show each other how much we adore one another on a daily basis….here are some examples…”shut the fuck up, LOVER”, “I LOVE the shit out of you”, “For the LOVE of God, what just crawled up your ass and died and came back to life and</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> is lingering in this freaking room for five minutes????”……See? So many ways we can throw that word around.<br />This Valentine’s Day wasn’t much different than any in the past. Usually I get a card, maybe some flowers…I’m just not big on the day… It’s not important to me to have one day to dote on someone with flowers that are going to wilt anyway, or shitty heart boxed candy where you have to stick your finger in each one so you don’t get the nasty ass piece that tastes like chocolate covered maple nougat. Who the fuck invented that flavor? I coulda had your job years ago buddy…People don’t like that flavor……..they are always the ones left in the box with a fingernail mark dug in the bottom of them, or maybe even a bite taken out but they put it back down after they realized what it was. We did get our son Igor ( this is what I will refer to him from now on to protect his identity from all the fans I will soon have from this awesome blog blowing up and going viral………….. no?) a coloring kit, but no candy. They managed to jack his ass up full of sugar at school, so I said no way was I adding to THAT shit storm when he got home.<br /> Now normally on Valentine’s Day I would have gone to the drug store to get MYSELF a box of candy and eat that shit in my car secretly. And yes…I’d poke my finger in each piece too. Who doesn’t right? <i>This</i> V-day my ass was planning on speeding through that store on a mission……to plow passed all the candy that would normally tempt me, trying as hard as I could to resist the urge to buy a box to eat before going to Igor’s school party, right to the aisle where the kids stuff was. Holy shit….. I managed to meander through all the empty calorie boxes of crap and chocolate covered maple nougat without even thinking twice about being tempted by what normally would hold me prisoner. Hallelujah let’s all sing out and rejoice to the heavens above “I do not want sweets, no no no…..take your candy and go, go, go”…..Repeat 3 times in sing song!!!!!!!! ( I was standing up with my arms way up in the air singing this aloud, right before I sat back down to type it) You all should totally get up and try it……it’s super liberating. Even if you can’t sing. My new life consists of not only having NO temptations anymore for the bad stuff but it also consists of hopping on the treadmill and getting a work out on a day when most of you are sitting at your desk digging through a box of candy poking holes in the bottoms to make sure it isn’t that nasty ass maple nougat. I told Chief, here’s what you are getting for Valentine’s Day….a thinner wife!<br /> Anyway so my <i>point</i> here and the moral of my little doo-wop is……Numero uno…Isagenix rocks and I can’t believe how it has freed me from my addiction to sugar and shit……..number two…. Valentine’s day is stupid, show and tell the ones you love EVERY DAY how much they mean to you……. And number three I can’t carry a tune if it was packed up in a in a bag, handed to me with and glued to my hands! Happy Hallmark day to all and to all a good night!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-19118049167630133922013-02-16T06:00:00.005-08:002013-02-16T06:00:32.901-08:00No Good Deed Goes Unpunished!<br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> About 7 years ago, I signed up with my entire family for a March of Dimes walk because my nephew Jack was born prematurely. I’d lay down my life for that boy if the time came so the least I could do was help raise some money to support the cause. It was an 8 mile walk……it’s WALKING, “how bad can it be right?” This is pretty much wha</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">t went through my head over and over. I got my walking sneakers on, my shirt with our team’s logo on it…….and my husband’s wind pants. Yep, I was big enough at the time to fit in his pants….they were really nice with the mesh lining and the oh-so-lovely sound of the “whoosh” as you took each step. Music to my ears! I was getting out, supporting a cause and getting some much needed exercise in the meantime. I was feeling GOOD!<br />I’m going to say it was at about mile three when it started…..the stinging…the rubbing…..oh dear God…no, please no…I still have 5 more miles to go…………….you guessed it folks……. CHAFAGE! What the fuck kind of pants were these???? This mesh lining, which felt so good when I first put the pants on, were now my arch enemy. Sure, sure my big thighs played a role in this too, but the pants…holy hell the pants! I wanted to rip them off and toss them in the street and do the rest of the walk in my grandma panties. It was terrible…. The more I walked the more I would sweat…the more I sweat, the more my things would rub these god awful wind pants. My thighs were on fire….and not in a good way ( you know when people make comments about someone that is doing awesome they say “she’s on fire!”…..ohhhhhh no….my thighs were literally burning as if someone had a lit match to them)<br /> I had no choice; I had to finish the walk. I am NOT a quitter…….ok, let me rephrase this…….I am not a quitter except when it comes to sports that involve big balls being chucked at my head, yoga when I passed gas in downward dog pose in college, and hide and seek when I always was the first one found because I sucked at good hiding spots. Besides this…I am not a quitter. I walked the other 5 miles wincing in pain, trying to talk to my husband to avoid thinking about it. But I did it.<br />When I got home…… I ripped those sons- a-bitches off and threw them at Chief and said “how the hell do you even wear these!” Pretty sure he never had the chafing issue with these pants as he wore them all the time. I got into the shower and peered down and holy momma mia…..I hadn’t seen that much swelling since the last time we drove through the Six Flags safari and pointed at the red baboon’s asses! I was in pain………I mean extreme pain. After I got out of the shower I remember throwing on another pair of granny panties and laying spread eagle on the bed and waving a magazine to fan off my nether regions. I popped some Tylenol (probably way more than necessary) and laid there in pain until I fell asleep.<br /> The next morning the swelling had gone down a bit and I needed to go to work. I put on yoga pants and headed to the special needs school I worked at. The more I walked as the day went on the more it was searing in pain. At one point I went to the nurses office to get Neosporin and as I pulled down my pants to apply the ointment my chaffed inner thighs were now BLEEDING! Heavens to Betsy what the fuck?! I had to ever so gently apply the ointment and then squat walk back to my classroom to tell them I had to go home. I couldn’t bear the pain any longer I could hardly even walk at this point. So I squat walked to my car (do you know what squat walking is? Here’s an explanation….. stand up….that’s right…get up out of your chair, but don’t stop reading this….keep reading…but get up while you are reading…. Now place your feet about 2-3 feet apart, bend your legs slightly….now walk)…….Yep! THIS is squat walking..and I had to do it all the way out to my car. I called my husband in tears….I said “YOU NEED TO BRING ME HOME DIAPER RASH CREAM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!” I laid in bed again, spread eagle for about 2 hours til he got done work and brought me Desitin. Yes ladies,….Chief is such a wonderful, wonderful man that he applied that cream to my swollen, jacked up inner thighs ever so gently (because if he didn’t his face was in range where I could knee him). So anyway….moral of the story here is…………. Number one,…chafing sucks ass……..number two, I have the best husband in the world who would do anything for me, including rubbing ointment on my gross inner thigh mess, and number three, next time I do any walk for any charity, my ass is going to wear me some Spanx under my pants!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-77201898115180264782013-02-16T05:58:00.004-08:002013-02-16T05:58:47.384-08:00Desperately Seeking Little Debbie<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> I have this memory……….it’s as clear to me as if it was yesterday. I was about four years old and we were living in North Jersey at the time. I remember my mom had a friend over visiting…..and in our front hallway/foyer, there was a table….on that table there sat a candy bowl. Now I don’t recall if there was always candy in it or if mom just</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> put the candy out because she had guests….this memory will forever be ingrained in my brain from that age. </span></span><br /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> My Mom and her friend were talking in the kitchen…I remember going into her and asking if I could have a Hershey kiss from the bowl. I remember it being filled to the top with the shiny silver foil and the little paper tassels that draped off of them. I remember starting off by grabbing probably about 2 and making my way to the den…….as quick as I could I ripped the wrappers off and shoved them in my mouth. Then I stuffed the papers into the couch cushions. I wanted more. I snuck back to the hallway…I remember waiting to hear the sound of voices…checking to see if my mom and her friend were still in the kitchen. I knew well enough at that age that I shouldn’t be going back for more but I didn’t care. It’s like my brain knew what was right but those damn 4 year old feet kept walking towards that freaking candy bowl! I grabbed probably 5-6 more. I scurried back to the den, unwrapped them as quietly and quickly as I could and shoved them in my mouth, then jammed the wrappers into the couch again. It was like a high for me. Over and over I repeated this ritual…….tip toe to the hallway….listen for the voices in the kitchen…grab more Hershey kisses, then scurry back to behind the couch……. Yes I know you’re thinking what four year old experiences a high over food. This one did! I went so many times I emptied the bowl……..funny part is I cannot remember for the life of me if my mom found out and scolded me or not…the only part of this moment in time I remember was stealing these delicious chocolate little heaven sent kisses and devouring them. It was an early addiction that has stayed with me the rest of my life. An addiction to sweet things. An embarrassing addiction. </span></span><br /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> This addiction followed me through grade school. I would sneak into the pantry and take Little Debbie’s (those damn preservative filled brownies were my favorite) and sneak them up to my bedroom and down them as fast as I could and hide the wrappers in my backpack until I was able to get rid of the evidence at school the next day. In high school I would still do things like this…except now I would purge afterwards….I would buy snacks and eat them in my car and hide the wrappers and go home and sneak upstairs before my mommom could hear me and lock myself in the bathroom….full of tears and regret. I would eat dinner with the family but afterwards I would throw up what I ate. I always had to be careful when I did this because my older sister was always one step ahead of me. She never officially “caught” me purging I don’t think, but she always had a sense that I was. (This is probably why she is such a good mom with 3 young boys of her own…..eyes on all sides of her head I’m convinced). I remember she would follow me up to the bathroom after dinner and sit and listen at the door so I couldn’t throw up what I just ate…..at the time I hated her and I felt she was just being a nuisance…. I know now she did it because she loved me. If I wasn’t gorging on a box of ho-ho’s I was going a day or more in a row without eating anything or vomiting up what little food I would allow myself to have. The cycle just repeated itself over and over..pretty much the entire four years I was in high school.</span></span><br /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Normally I make my entries amusing….I try to get a laugh out of you all as I go through things about myself and my life….. this entry really is hard to make funny because the subject matter is so deep. There’s nothing funny about vomiting up your food because you were dying to be thin to fit in. There’s nothing humorous about going out and buying boxes of donuts and eating them all at one time and then looking at yourself in the mirror in disgust telling yourself “I hate you”. There’s absolutely nothing funny about it. NOTHING….. I’m letting everyone in to a private place that I have never really shared with but a few. Is it embarrassing? Of course it is…..is it necessary to talk about? ABSOLUTELY. If I am not going to be honest about where I’ve come from, how can I expect anyone to want to know where I’m headed? I know I’m not alone out there in this. I know there are plenty of women who go through what I’ve gone through. What I still struggle with daily, regarding my body image. Society glorifies skinny and makes you feel like shit if you are overweight. True, I don’t want to be overweight anymore… but I don’t want to be a waif either. I want to be healthy….I want to be strong. I want to teach my son the right and wrong behaviors with food…and nutrition. I don’t want to ever go back to what I used to do. The beauty of the new lifestyle I’ve chosen with the Isagenix is that I don’t have to. Those cravings for all that once held me captive are gone. I finally feel FREE!<a href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=sia+breathe+me&oq=sia&gs_l=youtube-reduced.1.1.35i39j0l3.529839.530160.0.531840.3.3.0.0.0.0.105.268.2j1.3.0...0.0...1ac.1.1-5c6TMhVPE">http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=sia+breathe+me&oq=sia&gs_l=youtube-reduced.1.1.35i39j0l3.529839.530160.0.531840.3.3.0.0.0.0.105.268.2j1.3.0...0.0...1ac.1.1-5c6TMhVPE</a></span></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-2490145294814101942013-02-16T05:56:00.003-08:002013-02-16T05:56:27.133-08:00A Picture's Worth a Thousand Pounds<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> You know those pictures you take with your friends where you all stand there in a group and someone passes around the cameras or phones to get the best shot? Yea well, in those shot’s, as well as<i> any</i> shots of me really here’s my dialogue before the flash has a chance to pop……….”make sure it’s from the chest up!” -This has been my "photo MO" for as long a</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">s I can remember. Anything below that is <b>off limits</b> when people take pictures of me………if I see you took a picture of me and posted it somewhere and it’s a full body shot you either take it down or I un-friend you. Okay I’m not THAT big of a bitch…but seriously there will be severe negotiations of our friendship, if that picture remains up for people to see. I hate my body…..and I mean HATE it. I’m always trying to hide parts of it away from the rest of the world…and myself..sometimes I’ll spend weeks wearing nothing but my husband’s baggy T-shirts and a pair of my sweats because there’s nothing attractive about how I look. (This is another reason I love my work from home job so much.)<br /> From the neck up I don’t think I’m so bad. I’ve been complimented on my smile and my eyes many of times and even been told it can light up a room when I walk in……… You never hear that about a fat ASS, right? You sure don’t! I’m always the one in pictures who puts my son in front of me on my lap so you can’t see the rolls on my stomach….or leans over someone’s shoulder because I only want people to see what’s above the shoulders. I will shop for clothes as LITTLE as possible because going into a dressing room and having to look at myself not just one time, but THREE times all at once in those god awful mirrors and that terrible lighting???? NO THANK YOU! Three way mirrors are the devil! Most times when I DO go shopping I end up grabbing something off the rack, just buying a size I think may fit and not even bothering to try it on…if I get home and it doesn’t fit…well then it sits in my closet with the tags on it. Total waste of money…I have things I’ve even bought because I was ‘so sure’ it would fit and loved so much, I tore the tags off, tried it on and then sat on my bed and cried when I couldn’t pull it down over my back. One time I even got stuck in a shirt in a dressing room. It was one of those shirts that “appeared” stretchy on the hanger where it cinched in with elastic right under the bust and then flowed out (female readers know what I’m talking about here…heck even some men may…I won’t judge you on your wardrobe fellas). I got it on with only a bit of a struggle…..took one look, hated that it showed off my upper arms and started to take it off… This is where the problems began to arise. It included lots of sweating and some cursing. Getting it off was like watching a bad episode of WWE but with no opponent but a blue shirt with purple paisley’s. How freaking embarrassing, and I was ALONE! (On a side note, if I’m being honest here, which I am, all episodes of WWE are bad. Again for offending anyone who is a wrestling fan? Too bad, get over it…You clearly have never struggled to get out of a shirt in a dressing room where you could catch glimpses of yourself in three mirrors not just one. This is probably because you are of the male gender)<br />God bless Chief who has been on many a shopping trips with me and would hold the clothes as I rummaged through the racks to find something, anything that MAY look ok on me. He would stand there quietly, no judgment except to say “that would look nice on you”, which really is probably just his way of being nice, because that’s all he’s ever been when it’s come to how I look, but I usually never agreed with him. Not just because his sense of “style” is great, heck he’s jeans and a t-shirt kind of guy, but more because I don’t feel comfortable in anything I wear. It’s almost like an out of body experience for me. In my head I have this vision of how something will look on me when I see it on the hanger and in my head I look nice….then I put it on and my vision of what I had was totally off. I always feel like a sausage stuffed into one of those Chinese handcuffs.<br /> Anyway my point here is, I’m on my way to<i> never</i> looking this way again or struggling with my body image. To finally love shopping and getting dressed up????. BRING IT ON! The Isagenix has not only helped me begin to lose weight, but will continue to help shed these unwanted pounds so I can step out of this fat suit finally and for good. So looking forward to when I finally go on that LONG awaited shopping spree I have promised myself when I hit my goal and actually enjoy myself. Get your tool kit ready Chief because I may just ask you to hang three way mirror’s all OVER the house!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-46899366190566634442013-02-16T05:54:00.002-08:002013-02-16T06:01:10.675-08:00The Acme Flashdance Moment<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Totally wanted to do my own version of Flash Dance at Acme last night. I could see myself running down the aisles belting out the tune as I passed up all the junk food. There was some chain pulling and people splashing water on me as I shimmied and shook my way to the checkout. She's a maniac maniac on the floooooooor....</span><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NjbGr2nk2c">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NjbGr2nk2c</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-78208325490963273652013-02-16T05:53:00.001-08:002013-02-16T05:53:25.749-08:00Dimples.....and NOT the Cute Kind<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> We all know those …… some of us are blessed not to have them………..and then there are the oh so lucky ones who have it………..that’s right people……….cellulite! I’ve even seen some skinny bitches (remember from my first entry, this is a term of endearment) with cellulite. I myself never had a real problem with it as I was growing up until probably my late 20’s. Even wh</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">en I was on the heavier side that craps didn’t appear until I was pregnant with my first child. After that well things just went downhill from there (and I’m not just talking about my boobs) One day I remember turning around in the mirror and being like What the french toast is this on my ASS!? Low and behold I was visited by the cellulite fairy………almost what seemed like overnight. (that or I was too heavy at the time and it was a struggle to turn that far to see my butt, I’m not sure) Since then that bitch hasn’t left my side…she just kept adding to that dimpling. What HAPPENED to that beautiful skin I had when I was like 6 months old! I swear if I ever get my hands on her I’m tearing her little fairy wings off! Anyway….I know so many women out there feel my pain even some men I’m sure of it………… it’s right up there with the pain we all feel from the notorious back fat. Let’s talk about that now. What the…………..? Whose evil plan to add extra boobs on my back was that??? The workings of some man I’m almost positive of it! Two in the front isn’t enough….let’s add some more…. No not really, because back fat boobs are NOT attractive………. There is absolutely nothing attractive about it. So again these imperfections that I will stand in the mirror and literally stare at over and over make me crazy. Another little luxurious add on to the list of imperfections is one of my absolute favorites (please sense the complete sarcasm in that sentence) is the stretch marks……….ah yes…stretch marks………sure, the ones on my stomach are my warrior marks for carrying two children……WHAT THE HELL about the ones on my thighs and upper arms? Certainly NOT decorations, that’s for sure….but alas all these imperfections sit…. Kinda like unwanted back hair on men right? (if I’ve offended any sasquatches out there, get over it….no really, my sincerest apologies..Some of you may be very comfortable in your fur sweaters).<br /><br /> So my back fat boobs, my cellulite dimples and even those stretch marks are gonna be sent on a permanent vacation because of Isagenix…… I am already seeing the difference…..7 days and nearly 12 lbs down….whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>? How is this even possible without starving myself?? Well it totally is….and the amazing part is I’m never starving….never even a slight stomach grumble to signal that I’m hungry….. It amazes me every day when I get on the scale… I take a double take. Not only are the pounds dropping off the energy that Chief and I have is beyond compare. Literally from the minute we wake up to the moment we go to bed there is never a moment we feel run down or tired and all without stimulants or caffeine…. And we sleep like babies at night. Chief even stopped snoring! What what????!!!!! YES!!!!<br />Well kids, off to stare at myself backwards in the full length mirror and connect the dots on my “not so” dimpled rear end! Until tomorrow, gotta go….. Chief’s waiting for me with the magic marker.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-10892865333001486462013-02-16T05:53:00.000-08:002013-02-16T05:53:03.503-08:00Naked in the Hallway<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Ok, you know those dreams you have when you walk into your high school and EVERYONE is staring at you? You can’t quite figure out why, but all eyes are on you….piercing through to your inner core. You can feel your face get hot and you start to sweat. You finally look down and realize you went to school with no clothes on. My name is Tracey, and THIS is my life………well at least in my head it i</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">s. I am heavy….I’ve struggled my whole life with my weight and an awful body image. This is the way I feel when I walk into a room. That everyone’s eyes are on me….judging me…silently shaking their heads at me and the weight that has accumulated over my body. Now, maybe NO ONE is even thinking anything like this…but when you are overweight this (at least in my own head) is how you believe people are looking at you. Growing up, til about middle school I was never really “fat” per say but had some chunk and always felt self concious even then. When I got to high school it got so much worse…I wasn’t even overweight but my mindset told me I was, and I began not eating or throwing up what I DID eat so I wouldn’t gain weight. In high school I thought I was fat…………my sophomore year I weighed 115 lbs. No one that weighs 115 lbs is fat unless you are a toddler on Maury, but in my own head I was, because my whole life this is how I felt…so I found myself trying to keep up with the skinny, beautiful girls all around me and I didn’t care how I did it. I never felt like I was enough. Of course, looking back at pictures then I want to smack my 17 year old self and say “are you serious girl? you look phenomenal!!!! Now shut up and eat a burger!”<br /><br /> I got into a 3 1/2 year long relationship with a guy from the end of my Senior year of highschool to my Junior year of college. I got comfortable, I gained the freshman 15 in college plus about another 10….after that it seemed the weight just kept coming on. What made it ok at the time is he never really seemed to care what I looked like. He liked me for me… I don’t think I’ve ever known that feeling myself…to just be at peace with myself. It’s always been a constant inner battle of putting myself down, judging myself, ripping myself apart. Enough is enough….I’m tired of the yo-yo diets…tired of downing the diet pills that make your heart race and feel nauseous….tired of skipping meals or getting rid of whole food groups to try to lose the weight. Each and every time I’ve lost weight, even when it was a substantial amount, it always came back with a vengence and brought about 15 – 20 lbs of it’s friends back with it. Well I’m done! Done with not liking Tracey, done done done!<br /><br /> So here’s the part of the blog where you’re all like…………….well what are ya gonna do differently this time to change it? Here’s my answer………..Isagenix. I truly believe this is a gift from above… …or at least from some really smart people who formulated it. Either way I don’t care where it came from but I know it works and I know WHY it works. this isn’t a line…or a ploy to sell the product (however the stuff sells itself!) My very best friend Jacqui, who has suffered from chronic back pain from nerve damage for 6 years, started using this product. It is life changing. I saw a beautiful woman go from laying in bed w/ heating pads, medication, therapy tools, you name it she tried it….nothing helped. She started using this product…….within a day she started to feel different. A few weeks into it my very best friend is no longer suffering. She’s living again….. she is the girl I knew years ago…always smiling, always there for you….always a ray of sunshine. I haven’t seen that glow in years from her. I see it now. This product wasn’t just made for weight loss. Actually I think initially that wasn’t even it’s goal but that’s part of what happens to the people who are overweight….. She didn’t need to lose weight…if anything the skinny bitch could gain some ( I love you Jacqui! and you are the furthest thing from a bitch) But anyone who looks good to me gets tagged “skinny bitch” because I want to LOOK like them! (it’s a term of endearment really…..) Anyway…she was talking to me about Isagenix and how it is a body cleanse….it cleanses your body out on a cellular level…..not a gut “I gotta take a poop really bad” cleanse……it gets rid of all that shit we’ve eaten over time…puts your body back where it’s meant to be…..full of nutrition and none of the crap we have filled it with for so long. I suffer from severe indigestion and have been on nexium every day…….3 days into Isagenix……..GONE!…. I suffer from GOD AWFUL irritable bowel syndrome…..3 days into Isagenix ……….GONE! I used to drink 4-5 cups of coffee a day……haven’t had one drop of caffeine since I started this journey. Your body craves and needs these nutrients……….now that I’m giving it what it needs and not what it doesn’t, I’ve already dropped 6.5 lbs in 3 days………….this is without even getting on the treadmill (which I definitely plan on adding into the mix but I wanted to see if Jacqui was right when she told me people were dropping weight without doing any excercise) This is NOT a diet..it’s a change in the way you live……..all for the better….better body, better clearer mind, better skin, better hair…. A BETTER YOU! Who doesn’t want that??<br /><br /> Anyway…welcome to my page…. I want to finally be that person who inspires someone else to get up off that couch and do something about their weight. I did finally get on the treadmill for first time today since starting the plan and easily walked fast for an hour with all the energy in the world. I cannot say enough about this product. However this blog just isn’t about the product…………it’s about me finding that girl that’s trapped inside of me. You know, the one who wants to come out and give the bigger version of me a huge hug and say “ya know what? YOU GOT THIS!!!!” So any inspirational thoughts or messages you want to throw my way will be greatly appreciated. I am not setting up huge goals for myself like I have in the past, as I always failed when I put a number up there…… my goal is to be able to run around with my 4 year old son without getting out of breath, or walking up a flight or two of stairs without my knees hurting. I want to live….I want to love myself. I want to walk into a room and finally feel like people just might be looking at me for my smile not my weight…… I don’t want to get to the point where my next doctor’s appointment they say to me “you’ve got diabetes or you are on the verge of heart issues” etc……..I don’t want that for me, I don’t want that for my family. High blood pressure runs in my family…altho I’ve made it this far with really no issue, that can come on at any time. I have been setting myself up for failure in the past. I’m setting myself up now for a future of health and happiness….and it’s about damn time!!!!!<br /><br />I invite you to follow me along on my journey. I promise to make it inspiring and funny all at the same time. I’m good like that!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4540861720365638329.post-74291388125237684082013-02-16T05:48:00.000-08:002013-02-16T05:48:02.348-08:00Trouble in the Jean Pool<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Yes I spelled this correctly. Don’t scoff at me!<i> My</i> “jean” pool is different than <i>your</i> “gene” pool. My jean pool consists of about 25 pairs of jeans………….23 pairs of which I do not fit into. I actually counted them this evening. That’s right…….23 extra pairs…… I could clothe a small village (it would end up being a topless village but none-the-less; let’s just</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> praise my thoughtful generosity here, shall we?). What makes me hold on to those 23 pairs of jeans? Some I’ve never even been able to put on. Some were handed down to me from friends of mine who lost weight. Some I bought and wore maybe 1 or 2 times before the waist gave me a muffin top. (speaking of muffins, I used to love them..now I can’t even imagine eating one……so crazy!) Other’s I bought as a promise to myself that one day I would reach the goal and be able to wear them. They are size 8’s. I haven’t seen a size 8 since probably my freshmen year of college back in 1997. Hell my shoe size is even a size 10. My point here is it’s time to clean the body and clean my closet. However I do not plan on giving away any of these jeans…at least not yet. Holding onto all these jeans reminds me of all my past failures at weight loss………This time there won’t be failure. I even have one pair that is bedazzled and has laced embroidery (if you wear lacey bedazzled jeans and I have offended you, too bad. Consider this a PSA about poor style choices on your part in 2013) TOTALLY KIDDING………………………..maybe…<br /> Anyway I think my reason for keeping ALL these jeans over the years was to motivate me……..but really it just made me feel worse………….UNTIL NOW! Now that I am using the Isagenix I see all 23 pairs in my very near future………..EXCEPT for the lacey bedazzled ones….not so much that pair…….Maybe I’ll turn them into an 80’s throwback purse or something. Do a little stone washing on em. After all I am quite crafty.<br />You wanna know what I plan on doing with those two pairs that I wear now? The size 18’s? I plan on stapling them to my wall once I’m out of them for good…………..to remind me of how far I’ve come and where I will never go again!!<br /> Thanks for taking a moment to swim in my Jean pool with me. Don’t forget your floaties!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04720518982349585169noreply@blogger.com1